#1 humor site on the 'net

Babysitting Kids

When $5 goes a long way between cousins

Babysitting Kids thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Adults are just obsolete children. - Dr. Seuss

What is a home without children? Quiet. - Henny Youngman

Children need models rather than critics. - Joseph Joubert

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children. - Mark Twain

I preferred sewing to bossing little children. - Martha Jones

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart. - WC Fields

Children are likely to live up to what you believe of them. - Lady Bird Johnson

Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert

Wrinkles are hereditary. Parents get them from their children. - Doris Day

As long as you know men are like children, you know everything. - Coco Chanel

Vaseball: A game of catch played by children in the living room - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed. - Maria Montessori

Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off. - Ralph Bus

Always kiss your children goodnight - even if they're already asleep. - H Jackson Brown, Jr.

Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives. - Maya Angelou

Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light? - Maurice Freehill

Nature reserves the right to inflict upon her children the most terrifying jests. - Thornton Wilder

It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father. - Pope John XXIII

Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while, but their hearts forever. - Unknown

There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings. - Hodding S. Carter

People always ask me, "Were you funny as a child?" Well, no, I was an accountant. - Ellen DeGeneres

A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. - Agatha Christie

Willingness to be puzzled is a valuable trait to cultivate, from childhood to advanced inquiry. - Noam Chomsky

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

When you teach a child something, you take away forever his chance of discovering it for himself. - Jean Piaget

Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own. - Aristotle

Sorrow makes us all children again - destroys all differences of intellect. The wisest know nothing. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

The child should gain no request by anger; when he is quiet let him be offered what was refused when he wept. - Seneca

Enthusiasm is the inspiration of everything great. Without it no man is to be feared, and with it none despised. - Christian Nevell Bovee

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

Children raced outside. She surveyed their trail - traces of sticky fingerprints across everything, like wee poems. - Dr. SunWolf

Imagine if you succeeded in making the world perfect for your children what a shock the rest of life would be for them. - Joyce Maynard

If I had one wish for my children, it would be that each of them would reach for goals that have meaning for them as individuals. - Lillian Carter

Forgiveness is that subtle thread that binds both love and friendship. Without forgiveness, you may not even have a child one day. - George Foreman

The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about. - Evan Esar

It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves, that will make them successful human beings. - Ann Landers

Abundance and vigor of automatic movements are desirable, and even a considerable degree of restlessness is a good sign in young children. - G Stanley Hall

Blessed be Providence which has given to each his toy: the doll to the child, the child to the woman, the woman to the man, the man to the devil. - Victor Hugo


Blinker Fluid

Temple Car

Family Birthday Reminder

Coffee Days

New Audi

Netherlands Parking Lot

Wine Bibber

Tylenol Ban

Politician Plane

Seaweed Burger

Louisiana Potholes

Marathon Runner Tip

Spit Priorities

How To Argue With A Woman

Montreal Protest

Suitcase Staycation

Math Lab Bust

Life And Beer Are Very Similar

Girlfriend Math

Shopping With Your Husband

Billy Goat Gruff

Handwritting

Political Floor

Costco Beach Towel