Babysitting Kids

Childhood is a wilderness. - Aspen Matis

Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

Every child begins the world again. - Henry David Thoreau

Insomnia is my greatest inspiration. - Jon Stewart

Germs: The only things kids will share freely - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Inspiration exists, but it must find you working. - Pablo Picasso

My music is best understood by children and animals. - Igor Stravinsky

I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose. - Steven Wright

Your children need your presence more than your presents. - Jesse Jackson

Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy. - Robert H. Heinlein

Inspiration usually comes during work, rather than before it. - Madeleine L'Engle

If you can give your child only one gift, let it be enthusiasm. - Bruce Barton

To a child's ear, 'mother' is magic in any language. - Arlene Benedict

As a child, the only clear thought I had was "Get candy." - Jerry Seinfeld

If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else. - Ann Landers

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children. - David Brenner

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

Children need the freedom and time to play. Play is not a luxury. Play is a necessity. - Kay R. Jamison

As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen

We've had 'cloning' in the South for years. It's called 'cousins.' - Robin Williams

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

Zucchini: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats. - Jean Kerr

Animals are like little children a bit. They're simple. They don't have politics driving them. - Annabelle Sabloff

Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. - Socrates

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. - Ken Dodd

There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender. - WC Fields

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

The fundamental defect of fathers, in our competitive society, is that they want their children to be a credit to them. - Bertrand Russell

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke

The greatest sign of success for a teacher is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist." - Maria Montessori

Forgiveness is that subtle thread that binds both love and friendship. Without forgiveness, you may not even have a child one day. - George Foreman

Everything here is edible; even I'm edible. But that, dear children, is cannibalism, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies. - Johnny Depp

Abundance and vigor of automatic movements are desirable, and even a considerable degree of restlessness is a good sign in young children. - G Stanley Hall

A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm. - Bill Vaughan