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Apprentice Auto Body Shop

The new guy ain't working out too well

Apprentice Auto Body Shop thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Never eat more than you can lift. - Miss Piggy

Mothers are angels that lift us when we cannot fly. - Unknown

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else. - Booker T Washington

The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. - John F Kennedy

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. - Frederick Douglass

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

You have to look for teachers. If you want to be a mechanic, go hang out with mechanics. - Robert Kiyosaki

It's easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely. - Unknown

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright

My tastes are not those of the king, who has none, except for hunting and mechanic's labour. - Marie Antoinette

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

There are only 3 true sports: mountain climbing, bull fighting and auto racing. All the rest are games. - Ernest Hemingway

Truth is always present; it only needs to lift the iron lids of the mind's eye to read its oracles. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Dreams or illusions, call them what you will, they lift us from the commonplace of life to better things. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

A designer is an emerging synthesis of artist, inventor, mechanic, objective economist and evolutionary strategist. - R. Buckminster Fuller

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Did you hear about the auto worker who was offered a position as president of a bank but couldn't afford the pay cut? - Unknown

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. - Winston Churchill


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