Joe-ks.com
#1 humor site on the 'net
1934 Modern Home
Affordable housing by Sears, Roebuck and Company
Sears, Roebuck and Company (aka Sears), is an American chain of department stores founded by Richard Warren Sears and Alvah Curtis Roebuck in 1892 and 1906. Formerly based at the Sears Tower in Chicago and currently headquartered in Hoffman Estates, Illinois, the business began as a mail ordering catalog company, and began opening retail locations in 1925. The company was bought by Kmart in 2005. Sears had divisions in Canada and Mexico, but were sold, as well as several other subsidiaries within its brand.
There's no place like home. - The Wizard of Oz
Home is the nicest word there is. - Laura I Wilder
A good home must be made, not bought. - Joyce Maynard
In the ant's house, the dew is a flood. - Danish Proverb
He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind. - The Bible
God is at home, it's we who have gone out for a walk. - Meister Eckhart
Real Estate: What your house is called during divorce proceedings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Welcome to our home. And as yous people say "shaboom" (shalom) - Archie Bunker
I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there. - Steven Wright
Someone told me I was immature. Guess who's not allowed in my tree house now? - Unknown
The summer movies are coming out! My advice: just stay home and burn a good book. - Stephen Colbert
When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler
If you burn your neighbor's house down, it doesn't make your house look any better. - Lou Holtz
God gives men wisdom as he gives them gold; his treasure house is not the mint, but the mine. - Arabic Proverb
I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. - Steven Wright
If we build in the desert, let the house know the desert and the desert be proud of the house. - Frank Lloyd Wright
Crafting fills my life, and my closets, and my drawers, and every empty tote bag in the house. - Unknown
Look for opportunity. You can't wait for it to knock on the door ... You might not be home. - Jinger Heath
In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above, so I never have to go upstairs. - Steven Wright
Growing up, I'd just be at home, playing tennis, spending my allowance on an ice-cream truck. - Venus Williams
Stomach: 1. The home of the swallow; 2. A bowl-shaped cavity containing the organs of indigestion. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
You can go other places - you can live on the other side of the world, but you can't ever leave home. - Sue M Kidd
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart
My cell phone is acting up - I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work. - Unknown
There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan
What's a good investment? Go home from work early and spend the afternoon throwing a ball around with your son. - Ben Stein
A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin
The ordinary acts we practice every day at home are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest. - Thomas Moore
Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield
I could dance with you till the cows come home...
on second thought, I'll dance with the cows till you come home. - Groucho Marx
The primary purpose of a home is to reflect and to distribute the love of Christ. Anything that usurps that is idolatrous. - Ravi Zacharias
My house is on the median strip of a highway. You don't really notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH. - Steven Wright
I have a microwave fireplace in my house... The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes. - Steven Wright
If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt
The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian
The worst thing about work in the house or home is that whatever you do it is destroyed, laid waste or eaten within twenty-four hours. - Lady Hasluck
Fall: The season when your wife buys new winter clothes so she will have something to wear when she goes out shopping for spring outfits - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
At fifty, the madwoman in the attic breaks loose, stomps down the stairs, and sets fire to the house. She won't be imprisoned anymore. - Erica Jong
An expert is somebody who is more than fifty miles from home, has no responsibility for implementing the advice he gives, and shows slides. - Edwin Meese
One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli
Home is the nicest word there is. - Laura I Wilder
A good home must be made, not bought. - Joyce Maynard
In the ant's house, the dew is a flood. - Danish Proverb
He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind. - The Bible
God is at home, it's we who have gone out for a walk. - Meister Eckhart
Real Estate: What your house is called during divorce proceedings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Welcome to our home. And as yous people say "shaboom" (shalom) - Archie Bunker
I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there. - Steven Wright
Someone told me I was immature. Guess who's not allowed in my tree house now? - Unknown
The summer movies are coming out! My advice: just stay home and burn a good book. - Stephen Colbert
When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler
If you burn your neighbor's house down, it doesn't make your house look any better. - Lou Holtz
God gives men wisdom as he gives them gold; his treasure house is not the mint, but the mine. - Arabic Proverb
I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. - Steven Wright
If we build in the desert, let the house know the desert and the desert be proud of the house. - Frank Lloyd Wright
Crafting fills my life, and my closets, and my drawers, and every empty tote bag in the house. - Unknown
Look for opportunity. You can't wait for it to knock on the door ... You might not be home. - Jinger Heath
In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above, so I never have to go upstairs. - Steven Wright
Growing up, I'd just be at home, playing tennis, spending my allowance on an ice-cream truck. - Venus Williams
Stomach: 1. The home of the swallow; 2. A bowl-shaped cavity containing the organs of indigestion. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
You can go other places - you can live on the other side of the world, but you can't ever leave home. - Sue M Kidd
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart
My cell phone is acting up - I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work. - Unknown
There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan
What's a good investment? Go home from work early and spend the afternoon throwing a ball around with your son. - Ben Stein
A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin
The ordinary acts we practice every day at home are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest. - Thomas Moore
Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield
I could dance with you till the cows come home...
on second thought, I'll dance with the cows till you come home. - Groucho Marx
The primary purpose of a home is to reflect and to distribute the love of Christ. Anything that usurps that is idolatrous. - Ravi Zacharias
My house is on the median strip of a highway. You don't really notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH. - Steven Wright
I have a microwave fireplace in my house... The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes. - Steven Wright
If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt
The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian
The worst thing about work in the house or home is that whatever you do it is destroyed, laid waste or eaten within twenty-four hours. - Lady Hasluck
Fall: The season when your wife buys new winter clothes so she will have something to wear when she goes out shopping for spring outfits - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
At fifty, the madwoman in the attic breaks loose, stomps down the stairs, and sets fire to the house. She won't be imprisoned anymore. - Erica Jong
An expert is somebody who is more than fifty miles from home, has no responsibility for implementing the advice he gives, and shows slides. - Edwin Meese
One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli
Head Path
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Phones At Six
It Was A Dark And Stormy Night
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Whiskey Lurks Good
Tetris Couch
Canadian Alphabet
Love Rocks
Benadryl Cumquat
In It For The Long Haul
Ready Soon
Mud Flops
Been Lapped
How To Use The New 1940 Dial Telephone
Garmin Drive
Redneck Bucket List
Rotating Illusion - Pink Eye Trick
Boneless Bananas
That's My Bed
Eye For Coffee
Logging Moose
Firemen's Revenge