1934 Modern Home

An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin

What is a home without children? Quiet. - Henny Youngman

At my house, Dust is a noun, not a verb. - Unknown

A dreaded disease is infilteratin' our home - Archie Bunker

Heaven is home. Utopia is here. Nirvana is now. - Edward Abbey

Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves. - Italian Proverb

Art is the only way to run away without leaving home. - Twyla Tharp

I can't clean house and save the world at the same time. - Unknown

A consultant is an ordinary man away from home giving advice. - Oscar Wilde

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. - George Carlin

I still close my eyes and go home... I can always draw from that. - Dolly Parton

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen

I suppose I could have stayed home and baked cookies and had teas. - Hillary Clinton

I will clean house when Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner. - Roseanne Barr

Television has brought back murder into the home... where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

Welcome to our home. And as yous people say "shaboom" (shalom) - Archie Bunker

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home. - Robert Orben

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

What is the use of a house if you haven’t got a tolerable planet to put it on? - Henry David Thoreau

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. - Bill Cosby

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. - Phyllis Diller

If you want to see me, come over anytime. If you want to see my house, make an appointment. - Unknown

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House. - Robin Williams

Home life as we understand it is no more natural to us than a cage is natural to a cockatoo. - George Bernard Shaw

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

A gentleman should never leave the house without a sharp knife, a good watch, and great hat. - Unknown

God gives men wisdom as he gives them gold; his treasure house is not the mint, but the mine. - Arabic Proverb

Look for opportunity. You can't wait for it to knock on the door ... You might not be home. - Jinger Heath

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

Growing up, I'd just be at home, playing tennis, spending my allowance on an ice-cream truck. - Venus Williams

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

How do we persevere when we're adrift at sea, severed from wherever or whomever is our 'home'? - Lois Anderson

All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken and there's a lot of throwing up. - Ray Romano

My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper. - Steven Wright

The most dangerous person of the world is a member of the United States Congress just home from a three-day fact-finding trip. - Johnny Isakson

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill

Science is built of facts the way a house is built of bricks; but an accumulation of facts is no more science than a pile of bricks is a house. - Henri Poincare