#1 humor site on the 'net

Your In America

Sprechen Ze Engles

Your In America thanks to Jon Porter

QuotaBills
Humor is a universal language. - Joel Goodman

Monogamy: A synonym for monotony. - Gregory Nunn

Fair speech may hide a foul heart. - JRR Tolkien

Poetry is what gets lost in translation. - Robert Frost

Dance is the hidden language of the soul. - Martha Graham

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

A story is told as much by silence as by speech. - Susan Griffin

The English never draw a line without blurring it. - Winston Churchill

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

Bulldozing: Going to sleep during a political speech. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

He speaks English, Spanish, and he's bilingual too. - Don King

A fool is known by his speech; and a wise man by silence. - Pythagoras

Real programmers can write assembly code in any language. - Larry Wall

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

Leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality. - Warren G Bennis

Quota: Someone who likes to report other people's speech - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

To a child's ear, 'mother' is magic in any language. - Arlene Benedict

When people are proud of their speech, be proud of your silence. - Luqman

Retire? I can't spell the word. I'd play in a wheelchair. - Keith Richards

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so. - Gore Vidal

The 3 fastest means of communication: Twitter; Telephone; Tell a woman. - Unknown

Grammar is a piano I play by ear. All I know about grammar is its power. - Joan Didion

The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said. - Peter F Drucker

Sometimes the best communication happens when you're on separate bikes. - Unknown

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

There are ways of singing in English that are not just the same as in French. - Coeur de Pirate

Ninety percent of leadership is the ability to communicate something people want. - Dianne Feinstein

Humour is practically the only thing about which the English are utterly serious. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection. - Yakov Smirnoff

You don't really understand something unless you can communicate it in a simple way. - Albert Einstein

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in... it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

In the places I go there are things that I see that I never could spell if I stopped with the Z. - Dr. Seuss

Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown

Sometimes I have kept my feelings to myself, because I could find no language to describe them in. - Jane Austen

The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable. - Oscar Wilde

There is no lonelier person than the one who lives with a spouse with whom he or she cannot communicate. - Margaret Mead

I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense. - Robert Frost

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

He respects Owl, because you can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right. - A. A. Milne

'Good English' is whatever educated people talk; so that what is good in one place or time would not be so in another. - C S Lewis

An organization's ability to learn, and translate that learning into action rapidly, is the ultimate competitive advantage. - Jack Welch

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

The five essential entrepreneurial skills for success: Concentration, Discrimination, Organization, Innovation and Communication. - Harold S Geneen

All worthwhile men have good thoughts, good ideas, and good intentions, but precious few of them ever translate those into action. - John Hancock Field

Like a human being, a company has to have an internal communication mechanism, a 'nervous system', to coordinate its actions. - Bill Gates

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. - Lord Mancroft

The best managers figure out how to get great outcomes by setting the appropriate context, rather than by trying to control their people. - Reed Hastings

Music is a language that doesn't speak in particular words. It speaks in emotions, and if it's in the bones, it's in the bones. - Keith Richards

Good content should be at the heart of your strategy, but it is equally important to keep the display context of that content in mind as well. - Tim Frick

Good leaders must communicate vision clearly, creatively and continually. However, the vision doesn't come alive until the leader models it. - John C Maxwell

More people watch television and get their information that way than read books. I find new technology and new ways of communication very exciting. - Stephen Covey

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. - Unknown


Balanced Meal

Acoustic Hearing Aids

Redneck Advent Calendar

Programmer Logic

Lego Haircut

Lettuce Face

Hammock Wine

Catch Anything Lately?

Dead Batteries

Frozen Fish

How Do You Spell L-U-C-K-Y?

Stretch Line - Down To The Wire

Milkshake Diet

Bicycle Logging

Texas 4 Months Apart

Flat Tire Repair

Double Error Message

Redneck Candle

Tenacity

Better Call Saul

Hair Notes

Gold Silk Fabric

Orthodox Weapon

Chanukah Special