#1 humor site on the 'net

You Never Call

Cellphone calculators for Alzheimer friends

You Never Call thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
To stop aging, keep on raging. - Michael Forbes

I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown

The mountains are calling and I must go. - John Muir

If the phone doesn't ring it's me. - Jimmy Buffett

I do everything on my phone as a lot of people do. - Mark Zuckerberg

I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying. - Unknown

Summit: What you do to a column of numbers with a calculator - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. - Daniel F E Auber

If it’s the Psychic Network, why do they need a phone number? - Robin Williams

Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up. - John Wagner

Friends are lost by calling too often and by not calling often enough. - French Proverb

Quarterback: What you'll never get if you misdial from a pay phone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Most of life's great moments happen when your phone is in your pocket. - Unknown

The growth and development of people is the highest calling of leadership. - Harvey S Firestone

Life is like looking for your phone. Most of the time it's in your hand. - Unknown

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan

If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright

No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone, you answer it. - Dave Chappelle

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole. - Unknown

Mirror: A truthful reflector shunned by vampires, hypocrites and aging fashion models - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson

Aging is the extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been. - David Bowie

People are prisoners of their phones; that's why it's called a 'cell' phone. - Unknown

I don't believe in e-mail. I'm an old-fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Indian people, we are proud of our cheapness. You are never gonna insult us by calling us cheap. - Russell Peters

E-mails are letters, after all, more lasting than phone calls, even if many of them r 2 cursory 4 u. - Anna Quindlen

The price one pays for pursuing any profession or calling is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side. - James Baldwin

The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit. - Jason Love

Teaching is a calling. Teachers in their way are holy - angels leading their flocks out of the darkness. - Jeanette Walls

The main Facebook usage is so big. About 20 percent of the time people spend on their phone is on Facebook. - Mark Zuckerberg

My cell phone is acting up - I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work. - Unknown

Phonesia: The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I hear much of people's calling out to punish the guilty, but very few are concerned to clear the innocent. - Daniel Defoe

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

Aging: 1. A supposed ripening into wisdom that most Westerners attempt to delay as long as possible; 2. A one-way street with no stoplights. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting? - Stephen Levine

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Spot the K-Mart Shopper

Designer Lamp

Long Winter

2022 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

New 50 Pence Coin

Truck Art

Redneck Chair Repair

Bus Head Rest

How Big Was It?

Islanders

Extra Weight

Snowgazers

Happy Australia Day!

Starting Your Fireplace On The Roof

Snow Prayers

Snowbaru

Mirror Image

Hurricane Protection

Spot the Thief

Firm Egg

Winter Chair

Storage Puzzle

Training Wheels

School Nap