#1 humor site on the 'net

Winter Greens

How to lead stray snowbound livestock back home

Winter Greens thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Holy Cow - what the stray cattle menace has become

QuotaBills
An old man loved is winter with flowers. - Unknown

If winter comes, can spring be far behind? - Percy Bysshe Shelley

The thicker the hay, the easier it is mowed. - Alaric the Goth

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. - Fletcher Knebel

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

To shorten winter, borrow some money due in spring. - W.J. Vogel

Following the light of the sun, we left the Old World. - Christopher Columbus

Finally my winter fat is done. Now I have spring rolls. - Unknown

Change is like a charging cow. Don't ignore it - milk it. - Andrew Leigh

Stable: A command given to make a male cow remain in one place - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other milk. - Ogden Nash

Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing. - Ambrose Bierce

Work and pray, live on hay, you'll get pie in the sky when you die. - Joe Hill

Success comes from taking the initiative and following up or persisting. - Tony Robbins

You should never hesitate to trade your cow for a handful of magic beans. - Tom Robbins

Look over your shoulder now and then to be sure someone's following you. - Henry Gilmer

Sun salutations can energize and warm you, even on the darkest, coldest winter day. - Carol Krucoff

What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness. - John Steinbeck

You don't learn to walk by following rules. You learn by doing and falling over. - Richard Branson

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus

The day people stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them. - Colin Powell

These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. - Sam Snead

If you're bored, one thing is for sure: You're not following in the footsteps of Christ. - Mark Batterson

A word of encouragement during failure is worth more than a dictionary of praise following success. - Unknown

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

They seemed to come suddenly upon happiness as if they had surprised a butterfly in the winter woods. - Edith Wharton

Teaching is a calling. Teachers in their way are holy - angels leading their flocks out of the darkness. - Jeanette Walls

Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love. - Margaret Atwood

Usually the thing that signifies that I'm done with the winter and all that is that I start skateboarding. - Shaun White

Too much sun after a Syracuse winter does strange things to your head, makes you feel strong, even if you aren't. - Laurie H. Anderson

When you're following your energy and doing what you want all the time, the distinction between work and play dissolves. - Shakti Gawain

The only thing more depressing than another six weeks of winter would be having to spend them in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. - Unknown

For almost seventy years the life insurance industry has been a smug sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull. - Ralph Nader

I love cookies baking. During the winter, they have these candles that smell like cookies, and I always buy like a hundred of them. - Jared Padalecki

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome. - Anne Bradstreet

Zipper: Two rows of unsmiling teeth that often induce laughter in others, especially when inadvertently left open following a trip to the john - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell

Regarded simply as a politician, and compared with the other leading political figures of our time, how clean a smell he has managed to leave behind. - Mahatma Gandhi


Elephant Bus

Redneck Engagement Ring

Forever Clean Toilet

Edible Clock

Up-Set & Hungry Trucks

Bear Pinata

Swim Vacation

What Are Your Skills?

Portable Barber Shop

Snail Trail

Anger Release Machine

Pun-e Signs

Wake Me At Noon

Pringle Art

Lodge Welcome

Holstein or Holestein?

Dead Poirot

Restroom Fragrance

Word Puzzle Clock

Scenic Western Pennsylvania

Free Nobel Peace Prize

Teach Our Children Well

Stair Substitute

Solar System Watch