'Who stole the cork out of my lunch?' - W.C. Fields
QuotaBillsIn wine, there is truth. - Pliny the Elder
Good wine needs no vine. - French Proverb
Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee
Good wine is a necessity of life. - Thomas Jefferson
Wine and children speak the truth. - Greek Proverb
Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton
When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash
Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown
You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker
I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn
When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller
Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas
Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson
Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown
Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood
Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker
What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb
Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields
Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton
If God forbade drinking, would He have made wine so good? - Cardinal Richelieu
It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst
An empty purse and a new house make a man wise, but too late. - Portuguese Proverb
God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying
Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill
We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano
A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin
I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov
One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson
I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke
You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx
Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump
Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King
Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse
I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.
Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson
If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown
There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid
Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry
You can sing all you want about how you love Jesus, but the consecration that doesn't reach your purse has not reached your heart. - Adrian Rogers
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe
When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway
NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown