Wash Day On The Farm

Turkish Bath: A pool room - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Germs: The only things kids will share freely - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

With kids, the days are long, but the years are short. - John Leguizamo

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. - Bill Maher

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. - Red Buttons

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

It never fails - you get in the bath and there's a rub at the lamp. - Robin Williams

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids. - Unknown

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

The cure for a broken heart is simple, my lady. A hot bath and a good night's sleep. - Margaret George

I learn things from my kids constantly. Most of their knowledge comes from Snapple caps. - Jimmy Kimmel

Hiring someone to write your autobiography is like hiring someone to take a bath for you. - Mae West

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

Having kids is the ultimate job in life. I want to be most successful at being a good father. - Nick Lachey

There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them. - Sylvia Plath

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be in my bath, and she'd come in and sink my boats. - Woody Allen

Life on a farm is a school of patience. You can't hurry the crops or make an ox in two days. - Haneri Liogier

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

Field hockey is my strongest sport, and if I lose a game, I take a long, hot bath and moan about it. - Emma Watson

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. - Erma Bombeck

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

Having kids - the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings - is the biggest job anyone can embark on. - Maria Shriver

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

Summer is a drag because even normal people become obsessed with their bodies. A bad bathing suit can humiliate you more tan anything else in life. - Conan O'Brien

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'keep away from children.' - Susan Savannah