Voodoo Golf Tree

All is fair in love and golf. - American Proverb

Golf, like measles, should be caught young. - P G Wodehouse

Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells

Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers

Hold me, grip me, cherish me, pretend that I'm a golf club! - Unknown

If it weren't for golf, I'd probably be a caddie today. - George Archer

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown

Farmers: Men successful only if they sell their farms to golf clubs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers

How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford

In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf. - H L Mencken

Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Sometimes the game of golf is just too difficult to endure with a golf club in your hands. - Bobby Jones

One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course. - Unknown

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd

The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg

Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. - Tiger Woods

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill

Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden

Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez

I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump