#1 humor site on the 'net

Vegan Cell Phone

Finding a substitute replacement for Double A batteries

Vegan Cell Phone thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
I hid myself in food. - Gordon Ramsay

The French: Germans with good food. - Fran Lebowitz

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

Laugh a lot. It burns a lot of calories. - Jessica Simpson

Buy one of them battery transvester radios. - Archie Bunker

My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs. - BJ Penn

Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. - Emily Dickinson

There ain't no such thing as wrong food. - Sean Stewart

Food is an important part of a balanced diet. - Fran Lebowitz

Queuing tips for fans: wrap up and bring food! - Niall Horan

There is no love sincerer than the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw

Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it. - Unknown

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates

Food is symbolic of love when words are inadequate. - Alan D Wolfe

The universe is not a machine; it is an organic whole. - Ravi Zacharias

Food is not just eating energy. It's an experience. - Guy Fieri

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight. - Rita Rudner

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

In Heaven, chocolate has no calories and is served as the main course. - Unknown

Quarterback: What you'll never get if you misdial from a pay phone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children. - David Brenner

Wouldn't exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them? - Bill Murray

Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead? - George Carlin

When I get a little money, I buy books. If any is left, I buy food and clothes. - Erasmus

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

No matter how big and bad you are, when a 2-year-old hand you a toy phone, you answer it. - Unknown

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain

By eating many fruits and vegetables in place of fast food and junk food, people could avoid obesity. - David H Murdock

Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. - Socrates

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

Dieting is not a sprint, it's a marathon. If you celebrate the small victories, you will eventually win the war. - Ian K Smith

If you maintain a healthy diet, or at least are smart about your food choices, you'll still see the pounds come off. - Misty May-Treanor

If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting? - Stephen Levine

I like a quiet evening with family or friends over, great food and great discussion, and a lot of laughter. That's really what fills my tank. - Anna Eshoo

There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie


Saddle Surprise

Politicians Be Like

Senior Aerobics

Foiled Again

Redneck Beer Hunter

Pair Produce

Potting Pot

Ice Cream Burqa

Dog Soother

Fourk

Women's Outhouse

Crocodile Floor

Hummer Carriage

Antler Switch Plate

Redneck Cotter Pin

Redneck Bulldozer

Your Fly Is Down

Chili Rub

Tire Rotation

Political Promise Hauler

Steering Wheel For Couples

Confined By Walls

Moon Descent

Redneck Selfie Stick