Thanks A Lot America

America is a vast conspiracy to make you happy. - John Updike

Thanks, Darth Obvious. Or is it Emperor Palpable? - Chuck Wendig

An asylum for the sane would be empty in America. - George Bernard Shaw

For all that has been - thanks.
For all that will be - yes. - Dag Hammarskjold

No one flower can every symbolize this nation. America is a bouquet. - William Safire

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

I found a country [America] with thirty-two religions and only one sauce. - Charles-Maurice de Talleyrand-Perogord

Thanks to this man I've gone from over-the-counter to over-the-barrel. - Unknown

In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take. - Adlai Stevenson

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children. - Robert Benchley

When God created the world, he didn't draw a line between Canada and America. - Marianne Williamson

America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up. - Oscar Wilde

Vietnam was lost in the living rooms of America, not on the battlefields of Vietnam. - Marshall McLuhan

The middle class. Since when in America do we have classes? That's Marxism talk. - Rick Santorum

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

If Hillary Clinton can't satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America. - Donald Trump

Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving. - W.T. Purkiser

America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. - Oscar Wilde

America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few. - Will Rogers

Your majesty, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and Madame Houde thanks you from her bottom too. - Camillein Houde

Christopher Columbus, as everyone knows, is honoured by posterity because he was the last to discover America. - James Joyce

The seeds of learning can grow almost anywhere. Trump University and my other education-related ventures like... - Donald Trump

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger

Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. - I Thessalonians 5:16-18

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election. - Bill Vaughan

We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a little backwards? - Jay Leno

I have made the tough decisions, always with an eye toward the bottom line. Perhaps it's time America was run like a business. - Donald Trump

Reporter to Beatles during their first US tour: "How do you find America?"
Ringo Starr: "Turn left at Greenland." - Ringo Starr

Hillary Clinton was the worst Secretary of State in the history of the country. The world came apart under her reign as Secretary of State. - Donald Trump

The call of the yellow-billed cuckoo of North America is often mistaken for a bloodhound drinking a bowl of milk. He goes coulp coulp coulp. - Will Cuppy

Ultimately, America's answer to the intolerant man is diversity, the very diversity which our heritage of religious freedom has inspired. - Robert F. Kennedy

America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked. - David Letterman

Moses became America's true founding father because he evangelized action; he justified risk. He gave ordinary people the courage to live with uncertainty. - Bruce Feiler

According to New York publishers, Bill Clinton will get more money for his book than Hillary Clinton got for hers. Well, duh. At least his book has some sex in it. - Jay Leno

Somebody made the statement that Donald Trump has built or owns the greatest collection of golf courses, ever, in the history of golf. And I believe that is 100 percent true. - Donald Trump

In America, only the successful writer is important, in France all writers are important, in England no writer is important, and in Australia you have to explain what a writer is. - Geoffrey Cottrell

My father passed away a couple of years ago, but he was very old. He was almost a 100 years old. And, you know, he had a very good life. He came to America and he had a good life. - Christopher Walken

We feel (Trump National) is better than Pebble Beach. We have had some people out who are very familiar with Pebble Beach. Most people consider (Trump National) to be substantially superior. - Donald Trump