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Texas Tornado Warning

Dallas Cowboys season aligns with weather report

Texas Tornado Warning thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - George Carlin

Academy: A modern school where football is taught - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

An end is in sight to the severe weather shortage. - Ian Macaskill

Wrestlers are a bunch of wanna-be football players. - Brian Bosworth

I played a little basketball. Some football in junior high. - Clint Eastwood

There is no friend like a sister, in calm or stormy weather. - Christina Rossetti

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. - John Heisman

Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. - Charles Dudley Warner

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

The calendar and the clock are all set by football season and the off-season. - Tom Coughlin

I believe in Coach Louis Wong. He is so much more than just a football coach. - Stephen Covey

Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson

Football Game: A sport where a spectator takes four quarters to finish a fifth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I suppose the best kind of spring morning is the best weather God has to offer. - Dodie Smith

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. - Erma Bombeck

Advice from your friends is like the weather, some of it is good, some of it is bad. - Unknown

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. - Joe Thiesmann

So like any football or basketball coach, you always believe you're going to win. - Colin Powell

In life, as in football, you won't go far unless you know where the goalposts are. - Arnold H Glasgow

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. - Groucho Marx

When my friends and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker. - Robin Williams

Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport. - Vince Lombardi

College Professor: A man who gets what's left over after the football coach is paid off - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Let's get an extended weather forecast from a jittery, inconsistent, reddish brown rodent. - Unknown

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

Football: A sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I started out as a football player. I liked to inflict pain. In basketball, it was the same thing. - Shaquille O'Neal

I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting

Eternity: 1. The last two minutes of a football game; 2. The time between you coming and her going. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. - George Will

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. - Robert Frost

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally. - Alfred Hitchcock

They invented the three-day bank holiday weekend because you can't lump all the bad weather into just Saturday and Sunday. - Unknown

Life is no different than the weather. Not only is it unpredictable, but it shows us a new perspective of the world every day. - Suzy Kassem

I listened to a football coach who spoke straight from the shoulder - at least I could detect no higher origin in anything he said. - Dixon R Fox

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy


The Bugs Are Bad This Year

Dog Spa

Ostrich Imprint

Local Crabs

World's First Hard Hat

Bird Melons

Bag Hang-Up

LippoPotumus

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Wolf Mode

Undertaker Bike

Throwaway Sport Paper

Pacman Skeleton

Vatican City's New Breakfast Special

Flying Cathedral Excuse

Day At The Beach

John The Baptist Souvenirs

Amish Prom Limo

Wishy-Washy Church

'Cover Girl' Magazine

One At A Time

Shofar So Good

Temple Car

Closing Time