Take Your Meds

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Kin: An affliction of the blood - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Blood: The ink of our life's story - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb

Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

The two enemies of human happiness are pain and boredom. - Arthur Schopenhauer

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

Psychiatrist: an M.D. who can't stand the sight of blood. - Unknown

Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans

Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

The great art of life is sensation; to feel that we exist, even in pain. - Lord Byron

Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown

The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter

Humor does not diminish the pain - it makes the space around it get bigger. - Allen Klein

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

No pain, no palm; no thorns, no throne; no gall, no glory; no cross, no crown. - William Penn

You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it. - J K Rowling

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

Language: The blood of the soul into which thoughts run, and out of which they grow - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Grave: A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust. - John Webster

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Dear heart, please stop getting involved in everything. You job is to pump blood, that's it. - Unknown

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou

Pain is neither intolerable nor everlasting... it is in the power of the soul to maintain its own serenity. - Marcus Aurelius

Meaninglessness does not come from being weary of pain; meaninglessness comes from being weary of pleasure. - G K Chesterton

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

The more pain that's referenced or implied, the deeper the laugh can be because the laughter heals the pain. - Mimi Kennedy

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles

It's when we start working together that the real healing takes place. It's when we start spilling our sweat, and not our blood. - David Hume

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Where we always start is: What's the user's itch? What's their pain point that occurs frequently enough to build a habit around? - Nir Eyal

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster