#1 humor site on the 'net

Suitcase Inspection

Do you have anything to declare?

Suitcase Inspection thanks to Dave Loewen

QuotaBills
It is not death that alarms me, but dying. - Michel De Montaigne

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue. - Joseph Addison

There is no security in this life. There is only opportunity. - Douglas MacAurthur

A conquering army on the border will not be stopped by eloquence. - Otto von Bismarck

We spend our time searching for security and hate it when we get it. - John Steinbeck

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. - Bible

Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything else you do. - Unknown

He prefers the security of known misery to the misery of unfamiliar insecurity. - Sheldon B. Kopp

Security is mostly a superstition. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. - Helen Keller

It is true greatness to have in one the frailty of a man and the security of a god. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I wear a fun sock when I travel to give the security staff a well-deserved chuckle. - Chelsea Peretti

Real joy seems to me almost as unlike security or prosperity as it is unlike agony. - C S Lewis

A man's own good breeding is the best security against other people's ill manners. - Lord Chesterfield

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

What a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for what sort of man he is. - C S Lewis

The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts; therefore guard accordingly. - Marcus Aurelius

I do not think there is any silver bullet to solving the technology side of the security equation. - John W. Thompson

Hard work is the soundest investment. It provides a neat security for your widow's next husband. - Unknown

If you would perfect your body, guard your mind.
If you would renew your body, beautify your mind. - James Allen

To say I'm an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair. - Tina Fey

My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death. - James F. Bymes

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

If you can't even acknowledge that you have to fix social security, that's not a very good starting point. - Rob Portman

People confuse amassing money with security, but it is not so. What a pity to confuse real security with making money. - Billy Graham

Thoughts are like arrows: once released, they strike their mark. Guard them well, or one day you may be your own victim. - Navajo Proverb

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more. - Mark Twain

You don't learn to hold your own in the world by standing on guard, but by attacking and getting well hammered yourself. - George Bernard Shaw

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" - Steven Wright

There is no other way to guard yourself against flattery than by making men understand that telling you the truth will not offend you. - Niccolo Machiavelli

In a world of complex threats, our security and leadership depends on all elements of our power - including strong and principled diplomacy. - Barack Obama

Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. - Joe Biden

Guard well within yourself that treasure, kindness. Know how to give without hesitation, how to lose without regret, how to acquire without meanness. - George Sand


Missing Piece Statue

Baby Juggling

Dog Tired After Work

How To Burn Fat

Canadian Car Crash

Treescape

Redneck Christmas Tree Transport

Three Cats Ago

That's Not A Knife

Someone Is Upset

Turkey Popcorn Dressing

Redneck Outhouse Throne

I'll Be Right There

How Not To Prop Start Your Plane

Young Superman

When Not To Stop Too Fast

Bustache

CheckMate

Plane Oops!

Sand Dive

Manitoba Home Security System

WinDoor

Bungee Cord Suspenders

Mirror Solution