#1 humor site on the 'net

Stop Wasting Time

Hourglass view of television viewing patterns

Stop Wasting Time thanks to Sven Orloff

An hourglass (or sand clock, sand watch, sandglass, or sand timer) is a mechanical device used to measure the passage of time. It's composed of two glass bulbs connected vertically by narrow neck that allows a regulated trickle of material (historically sand) from the upper bulb to the lower one. Factors affecting the time interval measured include the sand coarseness, sand quantity, the bulb size, and the neck width. Hourglasses may be reused indefinitely by inverting the bulbs once the upper bulb is empty.

QuotaBills
Speech is of time; silence is of eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

Time ripens all things, no man is born wise. - Miguel de Cervantes

Don't wait. The time will never be just right. - Napoleon Hill

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you. - Groucho Marx

We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time. - Vince Lombardi

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. - Steven Wright

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves. - Bertrand de Jouvenel

The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them. - Will Rogers

I used to have an hourglass figure, then the sands of time shifted. - Unknown

Every time I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes. - Robert M Hutchins

Our youth we can have but today; we may always find time to grow old. - George Berkeley

Somewhere, behind space and time,
Is wetter water, slimier slime. - Rupert Brooke

Success is simple. Do what's right, the right way, at the right time. - Arnold H Glasow

You gotta lose 'em some of the time. When you do, lose 'em right. - Casey Stengel

If only we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time. - Edith Wharton

If you need something done ask a busy man, no one else will have time to do it. - Unknown

The last time I saw him he was walking down Lover's Lane holding his own hand. - Fred Allen

That's the fastest time ever run - but it's not as fast as the world record. - David Coleman

Take time to deliberate; but when the time for action arrives, stop thinking and go in. - Andrew Jackson

Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status. - Laurence J. Peter

Winning is coming in fourth, exhausted but excited because you came in fifth last time. - Denis Waltley

We waste a lot of time running after people we could have caught by just standing still. - Mignon McLaughlin

A recipe is only a theme, which an intelligent cook can play each time with a variation. - Madame Benoit

There are a lot of things happening that show us that this, right now, is a time to love. - Stevie Wonder

The time to pray is not when we are in a tight spot but just as soon as we get out of it. - Josh Billings

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. - Phyllis Diller

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. - Thomas Jefferson

The more sand has escaped from the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should see through it. - Niccolo Machiavelli

By the time a woman realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she's wrong. - Unknown

Eternity: 1. The last two minutes of a football game; 2. The time between you coming and her going. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Because there is always some kid who may be seeing me for the first or last time, I owe him my best. - Joe DiMaggio

It is not easy to be crafty and winsome at the same time, and few accomplish it after the age of six. - John W. Gardner

It takes less time to do something right the first time, than it does to explain why you did it wrong. - Unknown

The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit. - Jason Love

But, with time, one has encountered many of the monsters, and one is increasingly less terrified of those still to be met. - Kay Redfield Jamison

I think hearts are very much like glasses - if they do not break with the first ring, they usually last a considerable time. - Letitia Landon

Lots of time you have to pretend to join a parade in which you are really not interested in order to get where you're going. - Christopher Morley

She knows that feeling too. Of believing that each time someone says her name, it’s to tell her that something bad has happened. - Melina Marchetta

Closed systems run down and get more chaotic over time. Always get better by being open to outside energy and templates of better ways to function. - Henry Cloud


Slip Sliding Away

Canadian Smart Car

Winter SOS

East Coast Winter Graffiti

Handstand Snowman

2022 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

We're Not Gonna Take It

Vinyl Richie

Karma Towing

Red Wine Diet

Snow Geese

Family Birthday Reminder

The Circular File

Pair Tree

'Top Down' Snow Removal

Winter Kayaking

Mustache Breeze

Something Positive

Snowstorm Closure

Cold Cross Bunny

Motorcycle For Sale

She's A Keeper

Winter Ready

Next Week Plans