#1 humor site on the 'net

Steven Seagull

Red carpet treatment for an important Seagal

Steven Seagull thanks to Shayne Preston

QuotaBills
Bird House: Home Tweet Home. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Unflappable: A flightless bird - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The freedom of birds is an insult to me. - Cormac McCarthy

Wishing to be a bird so you can Fly Away. - Unknown

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. - English Proverb

The littlest birds sing the prettiest songs. - Tanyas

Heavenly bodies are nests of invisible birds. - Dejan Stojanovic

The shell must break before the bird can fly. - Unknown

Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness. - Alejandro Jodorowsky

Was there a bird for the souls of people like me? - Ruta Sepetys

Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings. - Salvador Dali

The early bird gets the worm. The early worm gets eaten. - Norman Augustine

The bird is powered by its own life and by its motivation. - Abdul Kalam

Egg: 1. A day's work for a hen; 2. A bird's hometown. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame. - Kohta Hirano

Impeccable: 1. Having immunity to woodpeckers; 2. Hidden from birds. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

In order to see birds it is necessary to become a part of the silence. - Robert Lynd

Tacks Break: What to give carpet installers to make them more productive - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

With birds flying around, man's desire for having wings rises to infinite. - Mehmet M Ildan

I know of only one bird (the parrot) that talks; and it can't fly very high. - Wilbur Wright

Birds with broken wings walking on the ground were once flying high up in the sky. - Mehmet M Ildan

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. - Muhammad Ali

Birds find shelter during the rain, but eagles avoid rain by flying above the clouds. - Abdul Kalam

Love is not only the story of butterflies or birds; it is also the story of jackals and hounds. - M.F. Moonzajer

A bird that you set free may be caught again, but a word that escapes your lips will not return. - Jewish Proverb

I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing than to teach ten thousand stars how not to dance. - e e cummings

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. - Franklin D Roosevelt

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Mosquito: 1. A small insect designed by God to make us think better of flies; 2. The state bird of New Jersey. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best. - Henry Van Dyke

One reason why birds and horses are not unhappy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses. - Dale Carnegie

Success is full of promise till a man gets it; and then it is a last year's nest from which the birds have flown. - Henry Ward Beecher

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. - James Dent

You can not prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair. - Chinese Proverb

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

The English eat all sorts of birds - pigeons, ducks, sparrows - but if you tell them you eat puffin, you might as well come from Mars. - Bjork

There is nothing in which the birds differ more from man than the way in which they can build and yet leave a landscape as it was before. - Robert Lynd


Elephant Bus

Redneck Engagement Ring

Forever Clean Toilet

Edible Clock

Up-Set & Hungry Trucks

Bear Pinata

Swim Vacation

What Are Your Skills?

Portable Barber Shop

Snail Trail

Anger Release Machine

Pun-e Signs

Wake Me At Noon

Pringle Art

Lodge Welcome

Holstein or Holestein?

Dead Poirot

Restroom Fragrance

Word Puzzle Clock

Scenic Western Pennsylvania

Free Nobel Peace Prize

Teach Our Children Well

Stair Substitute

Solar System Watch