Smoking Cat

You gotta be kitten me. - Unknown

A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb

Catacomb: A feline grooming tool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

All cats appear grey in the dark. - English Proverb

Don't judge a cat by its coat. - Magdalena VandenBerg

Meow means "woof" in cat. - George Carlin

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

Smoking means always having to say you're sorry. - Tom Ferguson

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke. - Groucho Marx

The Cat. He walked by himself, and all places were alike to him. - Rudyard Kipling

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

The Wright Brothers flew through the smoke screen of impossibility. - Dorothea Brande

A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb

There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat. - Wesley Bates

I phoned my Dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter. - Steven Pearl

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. - Garrison Keillor

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without further introduction. - Mark Twain

In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, He gave him the cat. - Warren Eckstein

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back. - Will Rogers

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. - Doug Larson

I love cats because I enjoy my home, and little by little they become its visible soul. - Jean Cocteau

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

When I play with my cat, who knows whether she is not amusing herself with me more than I with her. - Montaigne

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

I definitely believe marijuana helps with menstruation. Since I started smoking pot, my girlfriend’s period has become painless for me. - Randy Kagan

I had fried octopus last night. You have to be really quiet when you eat it. Otherwise, it emits a cloud of black smoke and falls on the floor. - Steven Wright