Smoking Cat

You gotta be kitten me. - Unknown

A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb

After dark, all cats are leopards. - Zuni Proverb

Meow means "woof" in cat. - George Carlin

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

When the cat's away, the mice will play. - French Proverb

She caught a touch of laryngosis from the smoke. - Archie Bunker

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. - Fletcher Knebel

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

If you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast. - Woody Allen

I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping. - Mark Twain

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick

If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse. - Irish proverb

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

When rats infest the palace, a lame cat is better than the swiftest horse. - Chinese Proverb

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. - Garrison Keillor

It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice. - Deng Xiaoping

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. - Mark Twain

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back. - Will Rogers

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. - Doug Larson

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

Smoking kills. And if you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. - Brooke Shields

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. - Mark Twain

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer. - Clement Freud

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen