#1 humor site on the 'net

Roo With No Respect

What's it doing with a foreign beer?

Roo With No Respect thanks to Howard Chapman

Roo With No Respect thanks to Howard Chapman

QuotaBills
Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Good wine needs no vine. - French Proverb

Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown

Liquor Store: A stupor market - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wine and children speak the truth. - Greek Proverb

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

Out Of Bounds: An exhausted kangaroo - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb

There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

Liquor talks mighty loud when it gets loose from the jug. - Joel C Harris

Any time you're near a kangaroo, it's a close call. - Jerry O'Connell

Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

It's like trying to pin down a kangaroo on a trampoline. - Sid Waddell

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

The world can't end today, because it's already tomorrow in Australia. - Charles M. Schulz

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany

When New Zealanders emigrate to Australia, it raises the average IQ of both countries. - Robert Muldoon

Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson

Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor


Redneck Engagement Ring

Forever Clean Toilet

Edible Clock

Up-Set & Hungry Trucks

Bear Pinata

Swim Vacation

What Are Your Skills?

Portable Barber Shop

Snail Trail

Anger Release Machine

Pun-e Signs

Wake Me At Noon

Pringle Art

Lodge Welcome

Holstein or Holestein?

Dead Poirot

Restroom Fragrance

Word Puzzle Clock

Scenic Western Pennsylvania

Free Nobel Peace Prize

Teach Our Children Well

Stair Substitute

Solar System Watch

Puppy Love