#1 humor site on the 'net

Redneck Bass Tape Measure

How Bubba measures his fish catch

Redneck Bass Tape Measure thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Electrocardiograph: Ticker tape - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There's always a bigger fish. - Qui-Gon Jinn

Paraffins: Found on sides of fish - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Castanet: Primitive fishing method - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Bacon is duct tape for the kitchen. - Unknown

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver. - Unknown

Fish and visitors stink after three days. - Benjamin Franklin

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

No good fish goes anywhere without a porpoise. - Lewis Carroll

Electric Eel: Fish that thrives in strong currents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can't fix stupid - not even with duct tape. - Unknown

I have laid aside business, and gone a'fishing. - Izaak Walton

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

At high tide, fish eat ants; at low tide, ants eat fish. - Thai Saying

Don't bargain for fish which are still in the water. - India Proverb

You can often measure a person by the size of his dream. - Robert H. Schuller

Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros

The size of a man is measured by what it takes to upset him. - Unknown

If the client moans and sighs,
Make his logo twice the size. - John Trench

It's hard to find a negligee in my size. I wear a Junior Mister. - Phyllis Diller

No human being, however great or powerful, was ever so free as a fish. - John Ruskin

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

Good fishing is just a matter of timing. You have to get there yesterday. - Milton Berle

It's not the size of the man in the fight, but the size of the fight in the man. - Unknown

Governing a large country is like frying a small fish. You spoil it with too much poking. - Lao-Tzu

I was in a sushi bar and it dawned on me - how could I discriminate between a cow and a fish? - Carre Otis

The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead

I'd have thrashed him to within an inch of his life, but I didn't have a tape measure. - Groucho Marx

The opposite for courage is not cowardice, it is conformity. Even a dead fish can go with the flow. - Jim Hightower

Model Wife: One who, when she spades the garden, picks up the fish worms and saves them for her husband - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Give a man a fish and you have fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you have fed him for a lifetime. - Chinese Proverb

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

Luck affects everything; let your hook always be cast. In the stream where you least expect it, there will be fish. - Ovid

Fisherman: A sportsman, who sometimes catches a big fish by patience, sometimes by luck, but most often by the tale - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

There is only one thing harder than looking for a dewdrop in the dew, and that is fishing for a clam in the clam chowder. - New England Proverb

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

I've never believed in measuring one's worth by the size of his or her bank account. I prefer to look at distance traveled. - Dan Rather

If I'm ever stuck on a respirator or a life support system, I definitely want to be unplugged, but not until I'm down to a size eight. - Henriette Mantel


Elton or Eltoff?

Finger Physio

Fish Eye Lens

Nice Try, China

Urgent World War I Message

Moostake

Online In The 60's

Quotes Matter

Zombie Mug

Redneck Pencil Sharpener

Clint Eastwood's Dog

Lampstand Driver

Dodgy Coppers

Frog To Horse Illusion

Keeping An Eye On Each Other

Parking Spot For Women

Captain Hook's Hook

Cliff Side Camping

Stonehinge

Looka But Don't Touch

Model T Ford Repair Costs in 1928

Milk Conversion

Smooth Peanut Butter

Leaping Baboons