Redneck Bass Tape Measure

I got bigger fish to fly - Archie Bunker

All men are equal before fish. - Herbert Hoover

There are plenty more fish in the sea. - English Proverb

Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver. - Unknown

Fish and visitors stink after three days. - Benjamin Franklin

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

Love is the net where hearts are caught like fish. - Muhammad Ali

You can't fix stupid - not even with duct tape. - Unknown

The fun of fishing is catching 'em, not killing 'em. - Norman Schwarzkopf

If the client moans and sighs,
Make his logo twice the size. - John Trench

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

It's hard to find a negligee in my size. I wear a Junior Mister. - Phyllis Diller

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

It's not the size of the man in the fight, but the size of the fight in the man. - Unknown

I went fishing with Rod Ewert. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. - Steven Wright

They laughed at Robert Fulton but without him, New York wouldn't have a fish market. - Archie Bunker

Governing a large country is like frying a small fish. You spoil it with too much poking. - Lao-Tzu

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. - Henry David Thoreau

One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duck tape to make them stop. - G.M. Weilacher

Size isn't everything. The whale is endangered, while the ant continues to do just fine. - Bill Vaughan

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

I'd have thrashed him to within an inch of his life, but I didn't have a tape measure. - Groucho Marx

By the time I taught myself the bass guitar at the age of 14, my hands were already pretty nimble. - John Entwistle

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

Our ideas, like orange-plants, spread out in proportion to the size of the box which imprisons the roots. - Edward Bulwer Lytton

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

Only think of two things - the gun and the tape. When you hear the one, just run like hell until you break the other. - Sam Mussabini

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. - Mark Twain

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

Confidence is beautiful, no matter your size, no matter your weight. Be confident in who you are and you'll be beautiful. - Unknown

I've never believed in measuring one's worth by the size of his or her bank account. I prefer to look at distance traveled. - Dan Rather

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo