Protect Your Ass

Who picks your clothes? - Stevie Wonder

Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown

Defendit numerus: There is safety in numbers. - Unknown

I do begin to perceive that I am made an ass. - William Shakespeare

Problems are only opportunities in work clothes. - Henry J Kaiser

Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. - Unknown

Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes. - Henry David Thoreau

Motivation is when your dreams put on work clothes. - Milton Berle

Next time you give your clothes away, stay in them. - Henny Youngman

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut. - Robin Williams

The two things children wear out are clothes and parents. - Unknown

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

The sage wears rough clothing and holds the jewel in his heart. - Lao-Tzu

You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini. - Mae West

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

As a prize - a beautiful riding mower with optional ass scratcher! - Unknown

She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on her with a pitchfork. - Jonathan Swift

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

It is ever so much easier to be good if your clothes are fashionable. - L.M. Montgomery

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. - Mark Twain

If God gets sore enough at you Edith, he could turn your jawbone into an ass. - Archie Bunker

Writing and travel broaden your ass if not your mind and I like to write standing up. - Ernest Hemingway

Beauty, to me, is about being comfortable in your own skin. That, or a kick-ass red lipstick. - Gwyneth Paltrow

She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say 'when'. - P G Wodehouse

One of the few articles of clothing that a man won't try to remove from a woman is an apron. - Marilyn Vos Savant

The clothes in themselves do not make a statement. The woman makes the statement and the dress helps. - Jean Muir

The expression a woman wears on her face is far more important than the clothes she wears on her back. - Dale Carnegie

Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written. - Mark Twain

Have you ever taken anything out of the clothes basket because it had become, relatively, the cleaner thing? - Katherine Whitehorn

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

It is the eye of other people that ruin us. If I were blind I would want, neither fine clothes, fine houses or fine furniture. - Benjamin Franklin

Faithfulness is essential to the character of a friend: without this there can be no safety in intimacy with and confidence in him. - Samuel Hopkins

When my time on Earth is gone and my activities here are past, I want that they should bury me upside down so my critics can kiss my ass. - Bobby Knight