QuotaBillsSave water - drink vodka. - Unknown
I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King
Wine and children speak the truth. - Greek Proverb
Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash
Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen
I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn
We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown
Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood
Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway
When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields
What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb
I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields
Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields
Liquor talks mighty loud when it gets loose from the jug. - Joel C Harris
Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley
Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown
Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown
A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I
Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson
I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown
Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson
Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II
A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily. - Dan Seligman
I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown
A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur
In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best
New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke
Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump
When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns
My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown
Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King
I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.
An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields
Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung
If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown
I'd hate to be an alcoholic with Alzheimer's. Imagine needing a drink and forgetting where you put it. - George Carlin
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen
The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker
You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott
It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie
I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde
Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe
When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway
Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor