#1 humor site on the 'net

Plain Plane Mechanic

Jethro's specialty is in-flight modifications

Plain Plane Mechanic thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Manual adjustments were needed at the first Air Show

QuotaBills
The shell must break before the bird can fly. - Unknown

Do what is right, even if you're flying solo. - Unknown

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. - Unknown

People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing. - Will Rogers

You cannot fly like an eagle with the wings of a wren. - William Henry Hudson

As the velocity of air increases, its pressure decreases. - Daniel Bernoulli

What air is to the body, to feel understood is to the heart. - Stephen Covey

Don't be scared to fly along. Find a path that is your own. - Unknown

The higher we soar the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. - Steven Wright

If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus. - Robin Williams

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. - Douglas Adams

With birds flying around, man's desire for having wings rises to infinite. - Mehmet M Ildan

Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo. - Al Gore

I know of only one bird (the parrot) that talks; and it can't fly very high. - Wilbur Wright

In the dark days of your life, you will need the wings of hope to continue flying. - Mehmet M Ildan

Now that I've found the way to fly, which direction should I go into the night? - Ally Condie

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright

We breathe air, trees make air, homework kills trees, therefore homework is going to kill us all. - Unknown

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

I don't like all this fresh air: I'm from Los Angeles; I don't trust any air I can't see. - Bob Hope

When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. - Henry Ford

It is questionable if all the mechanical inventions yet made have lightened the day's toil of any human being. - John S Mill

There is music in the air, music all around us; the world is full of it, and you simply take as much as you require. - Edward Elgar

Concentrating on poses clears the mind, while focusing on the breath helps the body shift out of fight or flight mode. - Melanie Haiken

The minute there's a map, there is no art. Paint by numbers is not art. Paint by numbers is a mechanical activity. - Seth Godin

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know so it goes flying anyway. - Mary Kay Ash

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all. - Robert Orben

Bruce Lee's fast pace, Jet Li's pretty style and Jet Li's acrobatics combine with Muay Thai for my own style. - Tony Jaa

He who would learn to fly on day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

The understanding must not therefore be supplied with wings, but rather hung with weights, to keep it fro leaping and flying. - Francis Bacon

Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. - Henry David Thoreau

Be not penny-wise. Riches have wings. Sometimes they fly away of themselves, and sometimes they must be set flying to bring in more. - Francis Bacon

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

The air up there in the clouds is very pure and fine, bracing and delicious. And why shouldn't it be? It is the same the angels breathe. - Mark Twain

A nation that destroys its soils destroys itself. Forests are the lungs of our land, purifying the air and giving fresh strength to our people. - Franklin D Roosevelt

Love is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. But there’s no need to be frightened, because that plane is still on the ground. - Jarod Kintz

This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet. - Rumi


Tunnel Face

The Bugs Are Bad This Year

Dog Spa

Ostrich Imprint

Local Crabs

World's First Hard Hat

Bird Melons

Bag Hang-Up

LippoPotumus

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Wolf Mode

Undertaker Bike

Throwaway Sport Paper

Pacman Skeleton

Vatican City's New Breakfast Special

Flying Cathedral Excuse

Day At The Beach

John The Baptist Souvenirs

Amish Prom Limo

Wishy-Washy Church

'Cover Girl' Magazine

One At A Time

Shofar So Good

Temple Car