#1 humor site on the 'net

Picnic Boat Launch

When Rednecks sea lunch

Picnic Boat Launch thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
Water rusts pipes. - WC Fields

Out of water, I am nothing. - Duke Kahanamoku

Up the creek in a boat with a hole. - Archie Bunker

Kinship: Your rich Uncle's boat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Water is the only drink for a wise man. - Henry David Thoreau

Hard Water: The scientific name for ice - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You bring your own weather to the picnic. - Harlan Coben

Friendship is a plant we must often water. - German Proverb

The water doesn't know how old you are. - Dara Torres

I hope my ship comes in before my dock rots. - Unknown

A tear is made of 1% water and 99% feelings. - Unknown

Thirst was made for water; inquiry for truth. - C S Lewis

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody. - Mark Twain

Zinc: What a ship will do if it has a hole in it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone. - Alan Watts

Water Polo: What horses play in the swimming pool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

Tell the men to fire faster and not give up the ship. - Captain James Lawrence

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. - Steven Wright

People run from rain but sit in bathtubs full of water. - Charles Bukowski

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. - Mitch Hedberg

You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore

Oar: Clumsy wooden implement used to moisten boat occupants - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I moved to Florida because you don't have to shovel water. - James Randi

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb

Washable: What a cowboy does, very carefully, with soap and water - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm. - Malayan Proverb

If his IQ slips any lower, we'll have to water him twice a day. - Molly Ivins

Love and work are to people, what water and sunshine are to plants. - Jonathan Haidt

When in doubt as to the applicability of a disinfectant, use soap and water. - Martin H. Fischer

We may have all come on different ships, but we're in the same boat now. - Martin Luther King Jr.

You don't drown by falling into water. You only drown if you stay there. - Zig Ziglar

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it. - Joan Rivers

Lake: Large body of water into which a kid will jump should his friends do so - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The ship is safest when it is in port, but that's not what ships were built for. - Paulo Coelho

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

We should be as water, which is lower than all things yet stronger even than the rocks. - Sioux Proverb

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

The man without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder - a waif, a nothing, a no man. - Thomas Carlyle

Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. - Zen Buddhist Saying

If the highest aim of a captain were to preserve his ship, he would keep it in port forever. - Thomas Aquinas

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

To say my fate is not tied to your fate is like saying, "Your end of the boat is sinking." - Hugh Downs

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either use one more club or two more balls. - Unknown

When it comes to old age we're all in the same boat, only some of us have been aboard a little longer. - Leo Probst

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Sailor: 1. A man who makes his living on water but never touches it on shore; 2. A wolf in ship's clothing. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora

Some lawyers are like unto the camel, which, before drinking out of a brook, maketh the water turbid with his foot. - Adolphus W Ward

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

After all, when a stone is dropped into a pond, the water continues quivering even after the stone has sunk to the bottom. - Arthur Golden

The person who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore. - Dale Carnegie

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Boat Anchor: 1. Thrown out when you need it, and taken in when you don't; 2. An old computer so useless that it needs to go to sea. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Thirteen roadways lead through life
To thirteen doors of death,
Homeward from foolish fears and strife
We float on failing breath. - Tao


Nighttime Graffiti

Baby Formula

Kid Suction

Redneck Moving Truck

Critter Control

Lost Dog

Nail Chair

Looking For Something?

Yellow Pet

Race Break

Fuse Bypass

Good Boy

British Tea Party

Roadside Assistance

Chair Boy

Cheers Beer

African Airstrip

Horsepower vs Torque

Filling Up Is OverRated

Flywood

Ukraine Aid

Handicap Motorcyclist

Auto Warranty: New Extend-ed Coverage

Messerschmitt