#1 humor site on the 'net

Perfect Girl

She could be waiting right underneath a bus sign

Perfect Girl thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
All you need is love. - John Lennon

Nobody's perfect. - Some Like it Hot

Love is the only gold. - Alfred Tennyson

Do all things with love. - Og Mandino

I believe in tough love. - Sean Hannity

All real men love to eat. - Marlene Dietrich

Love, and do what you like. - St. Augustine

Work without love is slavery. - Mother Teresa

Live from Love - not for Love. - Unknown

Great hate follows great love. - Irish Proverb

Hatred is blind, as well as love. - Oscar Wilde

Where there is love there is life. - Mahatma Gandhi

Love is a friendship set to music. - Joseph Campbell

Manners are love in a cool climate. - Quentin Crisp

The first duty of love is to listen. - Paul Tillich

We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Murdoch

We are easily duped by those we love. - Moliere

God is love and he has defeated evil. - Pope Francis

Forgiveness is the final form of love. - Reinhold Niebuhr

Love does not dominate; it cultivates. - Johan Wolfgang von Goethe

Photography is a love affair with life. - Burk Uzzle

Love is not singular except in syllable. - Marvin Taylor

A mother's love endures through all. - Washington Irving

Self-love is born out of love of another. - Harville LaKelly Hunt

Life is a relationship between molecules. - Linus Pauling

Tis brief, my lord... as woman's love. - William Shakespeare

The love of evil is the root of all money. - American Proverb

I love the smell of napalm in the morning. - Apocalypse Now

Dairymaid: A girl who ought to know butter - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love built on beauty, soon as beauty, dies. - John Donne

A person is only as good as what they love. - Saul Bellow

If love be blind, love cannot hit the mark. - William Shakespeare

Every great love starts with a great story. - Nicholas Sparks

At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet. - Plato

Forget love - I'd rather fall in chocolate! - Unknown

Never say love is like anything - it isn't. - Michael Chabon

Let the beauty of what you love be what you do. - Rumi

There is no love sincerer than the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw

You can't blame gravity for falling in love. - Albert Einstein

Grace is love that cares and stoops and rescues. - John Stott

Make love, not war... or get married and do both. - Unknown

Sloppy success is better than perfect mediocrity. - Alex Mandossian

Plant smiles
Grow laughter
Harvest love - Unknown

Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls. - Mother Teresa

If you judge people, you have no time to love them. - Mother Teresa

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

Love is an exploding cigar that you willingly smoke. - Lynda Barry

Absence, and a friendly neighbor, washeth away love. - English Proverb

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love. - Joe E Lewis

The only way to do great work is to love what you do. - Steve Jobs

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. - H L Mencken

Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place. - Zora Neale Hurston

Use things, not people.
Love people, not things. - Unknown

Gratitude is a shortcut which speedily leads to love. - Theophile Gautier

Love is more than a candle. Love can ignite the stars. - Matthew W. Stover

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. - Oscar Wilde

I love fools' experiments. I am always making them. - Charles Darwin

Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet. - Colette

Americans love popcorn, and their love doesn't quit. - Rosecrans Baldwin

Courage is like love; it must have hope for nourishment. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Christ showed us hope transformed into sacrificial love. - Chuck Colson

He was afraid of defiling the love which filled his soul. - Leo Tolstoy

Love is the master key which opens the gates of happiness. - Unknown

It's just as easy to love a rich person as a poor one. - Unknown

Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect. - Unknown

If you truly love nature, you will find beauty everywhere. - Laura I Wilder

So many catastrophes in love are only accidents of egotism. - Hector Bianciotti

I love bringing roses to a woman when she least expects it. - Esai Morales

What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. - Pearl Bailey

Give a little love to a child, and you get a great deal back. - John Ruskin

The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge. - Bertrand Russell

I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork. - Peter de Vries

True love is like little roses, sweet, fragrant in small doses. - Ana Claudia Antunes

I love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product. - Ron White

To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose, the next best. - William Makepeace Thackeray

If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile. - Lynda Barry

If there's one thing I know it's God does love a good joke. - Hugh Elliott

Pleasure of love lasts but a moment. Pain of love lasts a lifetime. - Bette Davis

Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend. - Martin Luther King Jr.

I love Canadians because I don't see very much racism in Canada. - Patti LaBelle

I would love to voice an animated penguin or platypus at some point. - Jack Falahee

Love isn't something you find. Love is something that finds you. - Loretta Young

Keep moving if you love life, and keep your troubles well behind you. - John McCain

I love men, not because they are men, but because they are not women. - Queen Christina of Sweden

What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family. - Mother Teresa

A man is often too young to marry, but a man is never too old to love. - Finnish Proverb

The traveler with empty pockets pursues his journey in perfect safety. - Ovid

In some countries you love your neighbors, and in others you eat them. - Ravi Zacharias

True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Love is a word consisting of two vowels, two consonants, and two fools. - Jeff Rovin

Who would ever think that so much can go on in the soul of a young girl? - Anne Frank

No one but a woman in love ever sees the maximum of men's greatness. - Anais Nin

To me, every hour of the day and night is an unspeakably perfect miracle. - Walt Whitman

Ignorance and bungling with love are better than wisdom and skill without. - Henry David Thoreau

Find someone who will change your life, not just your relationship status. - Abdul'Rauf Hashmi

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen. - Dolly Parton

To lose balance, sometimes, for love, is part of living in a balanced life. - Elizabeth Gilbert

I love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. - Roy Croft

They invented hugs to let people know you love them without saying anything. - Bill Keane

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar. - Lao-Tzu

I love sports. Whenever I can, I always watch the Detroit Tigers on the radio. - Gerald R. Ford

On stage I make love to twenty five thousand people; and then I go home alone. - Janis Joplin

Always it's Spring,and everyone's in love and flowers pick themselves. - e e cummings

Jealousy, that dragon which slays love under the pretence of keeping it alive. - Havelock Ellis

For I remember it is Easter morn, and life and love and peace are all new born. - Alice F Palmer

A daughter is someone you laugh with, dream with, and love with all your heart. - Unknown

I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

Well, at least he has found his true love - what a pity he can't marry himself. - Frank Sinatra

I don't love studying. I hate studying. I like learning. Learning is beautiful. - Natalie Portman

The people you love become ghosts inside of you, and like this you keep them alive. - Rob Montgomery

A heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others. - Frank Morgan

It's no trick loving somebody at their best. Love is loving them at their worst. - Tom Stoppard

I might love my e-reader, but I'd never pass up the chance to browse real books. - Nichole Chase

Every man is capable of performing something unique; that which he alone can perfect. - Unknown

A little kindness from person to person is better than a vast love for all humankind. - Richard Dehmel

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead. - Lucille Ball

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

A consultant is a man who knows 147 ways to make love, but doesn't know any women. - Unknown

The true way to render ourselves happy is to love our work and find in it our pleasure. - Francoise de Motteville

It isn't how much we do, but how much love we put into what we do that really counts. - Mother Teresa

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children. - Dave Barry

When a man has once loved a woman he will do anything for her except continue to love her. - Oscar Wilde

We are driven by five genetic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom, and fun. - William Glasser

All of us love miracles. We just don't like being in a situation that necessitates one. - Mark Batterson

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants. - A. Whitney Brown

For you see, each day I love you more
Today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow. - Rosemonde Gerard

The easiest kind of relationship for me is with ten thousand people. The hardest is with one. - Joan Baez

Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. - Oscar Wilde

Love deeply, love without jealousy, love blissfully and help each other to be more meditative. - Osho

I need to tone up, as I eat a lot of fast food. I love Maccy D's, Subway and Domino's. - Amy Childs

It is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them. - Agatha Christie

Be humble enough to admit you're not perfect, but determined enough to strive to be perfect. - Unknown

Having a kid is like falling in love for the first time when you're 12, but every single day. - Mike Myers

Love is not finding someone to live with; it’s finding someone you can’t live without. - Rafael Ortiz

I'm a human being and I fall in love and sometimes I don't have control of every situation. - Beyonce

I love running. I’m not into marathons, but I am into avoiding problems at an accelerated rate. - Jarod Kintz

Gratitude is a twofold love - love coming to visit us, and love running out to greet a welcome guest. - Henry Van Dyke

The heights charm us, but the steps do not; with the mountain in our view we love to walk the plains. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love. - Mother Teresa

It is an act of love to say, "I believe in you as my child, and you don't need my help." - Peter Buffett

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. - Erich Segal

Love is a piano dropped from a fourth story window, and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. - Ani DiFranco

The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me. - George Bernard Shaw

I love sushi, though I just read something about how you shouldn't eat sushi more than once a week. - Jacqueline Obradors

If you would perfect your body, guard your mind.
If you would renew your body, beautify your mind. - James Allen

If you wait for perfect conditions to seize an opportunity, you'll be waiting till the day you die. - Mark Batterson

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford

Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone - we find it with another. - Thomas Merton

Love is as much a question of the will as it is of the emotion. And if you will to love somebody, you can. - Ramesh Zacharias

The characteristics of an authentically empowered personality are humbleness, clarity, forgiveness and love. - Gary Zukav

All happiness or unhappiness solely depends upon the quality of the object to which we are attached by love. - Baruch Spinoza

But you cant shut everyone out. I mean you have to have someone to love... someone to hold on to... someone - - Hubert Selby Jr.

Practice mercy and forgiveness throughout as a lesson that symbolizes the love shown through his crucifixion. - Unarine Ramaru

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

You can take the girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the girl and ultimately not the girl out of Texas. - Janine Turner

I played basketball in high school, and I love watching sports - I'll watch everything except maybe hockey. - Andy Roddick

For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman

I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything. - Oscar Wilde

I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick. - Sarah Palin

The saddest thing about love is that not only that it cannot last forever, but that heartbreak is soon forgotten. - William Faulkner

Solitude scares me. It makes me think about love, death, and war. I need distraction from anxious, black thoughts. - Brigitte Bardot

Love, like democracy, can survive almost any attack - except neglect, indifference and maybe an arrow in the back. - Unknown

If music be the food of love, play on, give me excess of it; that surfeiting, the appetite may sicken, and so die. - William Shakespeare

A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, nobody's home." I went over. Nobody was home. - Rodney Dangerfield

I don't really drink sodas, but when I have popcorn or pizza I need a little. It's the perfect combination. - Alessandra Ambrosio

Perfect freedom is as necessary to the health and vigor of commerce as it is to the health and vigor of citizenship. - Patrick Henry

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

The Christian does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us. - C S Lewis

Do not waste time bothering whether you love your neighbor; act as if you do, and you will presently come to love him. - C S Lewis

Love is like a puzzle. First it's confusing and frustrating, but when you figure it out, it's a beautiful thing. - Unknown

A broken heart is just the growing pains necessary so that you can love more completely when the real thing comes along. - J S B Morse

She did not stand alone, but what stood behind her, the most potent moral force in her life, was the love of her father. - Harper Lee

To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. - G K Chesterton

I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. - Audrey Hepburn

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. - James Dent

Doing business without advertising is like winking at a girl in the dark. You know what you are doing, but nobody else does. - Stuart H Britt

What I love the most about surfing is that it's my first love. It's the first thing I can remember being consumed by. - Stephanie Gilmore

Don't expect your friend to be a perfect person. But help your friend to become a perfect person. That is true friendship. - Mother Teresa

The love of God shows us that God alone bridges the distance between him and us, enabling us to see this world through Calvary. - Ravi Zacharias

You have to do what you love to do, not get stuck in that comfort zone of a regular job. Life is not a dress rehearsal. This is it. - Lucinda Basset

A lost empire, lost power and lost wealth provide perfect circumstances for living happily and contentedly in our enchanted island. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. - Hoosier Farmer

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

There is no perfect solution to depression, nor should there be. And odd as this may sound, we should be glad of that. It keeps us human. - Lesley Hazelton

Drink and dance and laugh and lie,
Love, the reeling midnight through,
For tomorrow we shall die!
(But, alas, we never do.) - Dorothy Parker

Throw your dream into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back: a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country. - Anais Nin

There are all kinds of ways for a relationship to be tested, even broken, some, irrevocably; it's the endings we're unprepared for. - Katherine Owen

Love as powerful as your mother's for you leaves its own mark ... to have been loved so deeply ... will give us some protection forever. - J K Rowling

Determine what motivates you and you can find your path to love, happiness and influence and that which you seek to make your life complete. - Louis Howard

I'll love you, dear, I'll love you till China and Africa meet and the river jumps over the mountain and the salmon sing in the street. - W H Auden

When I studied graphic design, I learned a valuable lesson: There's no perfect answer to the puzzle, and creativity is a renewable resource. - Biz Stone

I love to go to the zoo. But not on Sunday. I don't like to see the people making fun of the animals, when it should be the other way around. - Ernest Hemingway

Love is like the wild-rose briar, friendship like the holly-tree. The holly is dark when the rose-briar blooms, but which will bloom most constantly? - Emily Bronte


Exhausted Baby

Monkeypox II

Overloaded Bookshop

Grass Leak

Family Tent

False Dreams

Fishnet Stockings

Saskatchewan Freeway

They All Look So Jacozy

Sunset Eclipse

Ikea Blueprint

Flight of the Ladybug

Nerve Twitch

Yellowstone Bears

Kayak Funeral

Dutch Bike

Breadlace

Sled Dog

Hog Hunter

Magic Puppies

Log Sticks

Tree Face

Camper Tank

Shipley Donut Pants