On The Eighth Day

America can't beat anyone anymore. - George Clooney

Focus: What Canadian politicians lack. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

God created man, but I could do better. - Erma Bombeck

Americans like fat books and thin women. - Russell Baker

Canadians are Americans with no Disneyland. - Margaret Mahy

America is addicted to wars of distraction. - Barbara Ehrenreich

I criticize by creation - not by finding fault. - Cicero

I don't even know what street Canada is on. - Al Capone

Canada has two emblems - the beaver and the maple. - John W. Dawson

God created the flirt as soon as He made the fool. - Victor Hugo

Let each become all he was created capable of becoming. - Thomas Carlyle

Canada is a great country, one of the hopes of the world. - Jack Layton

Every act of creation is first of all an act of destruction. - Pablo Picasso

Europe was created by history. America was created by philosophy. - Margaret Thatcher

In Canada, nobody is ever overthrown because nobody gives a damn. - Mordecai Richler

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

I found a country [America] with thirty-two religions and only one sauce. - Charles-Maurice de Talleyrand-Perogord

No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. - Albert Einstein

In America nobody says you have to keep the circumstances somebody else gives you. - Amy Tan

I'm kinda disapointed that Canada isn't like the South Park movie said it was. - Joel Madden

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

Coming from Canada, being a writer and Jewish as well, I have impeccable paranoia credentials. - Mordecai Richler

There are many men of principle in both parties in America, but there is no party of principle. - Alexis de Tocqueville

We are our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves. - Tom Robbins

America is a melting pot; the people at the bottom get burned while all the scum floats to the top. - Charlie King

Folks who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign. - Milton Berle

I like grey characters; fantasy for too long has been focused on very stereotypical heroes and villains. - George R.R. Martin

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

I think Paul McGuinness and U2 created the Irish music industry. It certainly wasn't there before that. - Van Morrison

Indians are so dedicated to being so cheap for so long, that Indian people actually created the number zero. - Russell Peters

If the national mental illness of the United States is megalomania, that of Canada is paranoid schizophrenia. - Margaret Atwood

Bank of America is to sweetheart loans and Democratic Party payoffs as Paula Deen is to sugar and bacon grease. - Michelle Malkin

Had I been present at the creation, I would have given some useful hints for the better ordering of the universe. - Alfonso X, the Wise

Canada has given us John Candy and Martin Short and Bill Shatner and Lord knows how many other wonderful performers. - Jamie Farr

Canada's political parties spend a few years in opposition and then govern as if it's permanent payback time. - Bob Rae

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. - Robert Orben

We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a little backwards? - Jay Leno

The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one. - Albert Einstein

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

Reporter to Beatles during their first US tour: "How do you find America?"
Ringo Starr: "Turn left at Greenland." - Ringo Starr