#1 humor site on the 'net

Moon Descent

How to shorten the distance between Earth and the Moon

Moon Descent thanks to Laura Aasgard

QuotaBills
A star on earth - a star in heaven. - Karen Carpenter

The lord descend down a thundervolt. - Archie Bunker

For NASA, space is still a high priority. - Dan Quayle

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. - Jesus Christ

Look, there's no metaphysics on earth like chocolates. - Fernando Pessoa

The only way on earth to multiply happiness is to divide it. - Paul Scherer

My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside. - Roseanne Barr

Cavity: Empty space ready to be stuffed with dentist's bills. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. - George Carlin

Space is almost infinite. As a matter of fact, we think it is infinite. - Dan Quayle

It is spring again. The earth is like a child that knows poems by heart. - Rainer M. Rilke

Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody. - Mark Twain

Be humble for you are made of earth. Be noble for you are made of stars. - Serbian Proverb

Man will never reach the moon regardless of all future scientific advances. - Lee De Forest

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. - Josh Billings

We do not inherit the earth from our parents. We borrow it from our children. - Unknown

Earth is here so kind, that just tickle her with a hoe and she laughs with a harvest. - Douglas Jerrold

In the hopes of reaching the moon men fail to see the flowers that blossom at their feet. - Albert Schweitzer

Let us never forget that the cultivation of the earth is the most important labor of man. - Daniel Webster

Transcend your limiting beliefs so you can finally do what you were put on this earth to do. - Unknown

Great music is as much about the space between the notes as it is about the notes themselves. - Sting

Why is America the last best hope of Earth? What if it's Liechtenstein? Or, worse, Canada? - Sarah Vowell

Cyberspace can't compensate for real space. We benefit from chatting to people face to face. - Jonathan Sacks

Don't let negative and toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the rent and kick them out. - Zig Ziglar

The way you can understand all of the social media is as the creation of a new kind of public space. - Danah Boyd

Here is a test to find out whether your mission on earth is finished: If you are alive, it isn't. - Richard Bach

What I need to live has been given to me by the earth. Why I need to live has been given to me by you. - Unknown

Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts. - Rachel Carson

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. - Robert Frost

Some say cling to the earth while others say reach for the stars. There's time enough for the earth in the grave. - Unknown

The really wonderful thing that happened to me when I was in space was this feeling of belonging to the entire universe. - Mae Jemison

They who meet on an April night are forever lost in love, if there's moonlight all about and there's no moon above. - Fred Saidy

Every person on this earth is full of great possibilities that can be realized through imagination, effort, and perseverance. - Scott B Kaufman

Diamond being the toughest thing on the face of earth is still the most prettiest object; pretty is not always being honeyed. - Priyansh Shah

The world, the race, the soul - in space and time the universes,
All bound as is befitting each - all surely going somewhere. - Walt Whitman

The sun, the moon and the stars would have disappeared long ago had they happened to be within the reach of predatory human hands. - Havelock Ellis

Justice, sir, is the great interest of man on earth. It is the ligament which holds civilized beings and civilized nations together. - Daniel Webster

When my time on Earth is gone and my activities here are past, I want that they should bury me upside down so my critics can kiss my ass. - Bobby Knight

When my wife says she'll be ready in 5 minutes, I know I have just enough time to fly to space and write a poem on the moon before we go. - Mike Vanatta


Martini Shirt

Mal Nutrition

Stowaway Soccer Fan

Watch Out For Slugger

Canada Frigate

Shimmy Car-nage

Texas Cow Cleaner

DogWood

The Floater

How We Played Online Before The Internet

Sports Hernias

Redneck Power Windows

Star Wars Howl

Leaning Bookshelves

Sometimes Dads Are Wet For Work

Dad Sandwich

Months Apart

Swing Dad

Dadspiration

Daddy, Can I Ride It?

Leaf Surgery

No Wheeler

Dad's Ex-Ferrari

Privileged Corvette Parking