Misdirected Faucet
Tap faucet outreaches its life expectancy
Taken for granite
Some bathroom designs include a bit too much granite countertop
QuotaBillsKeep a clean kitchen - dine out. - Unknown
A plumber's idea of Cleopatra. - WC Fields
Bacon is duct tape for the kitchen. - Unknown
Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen
Experts should be on tap but never on top. - Winston Churchill
Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: eat out. - Phyllis Diller
Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V
He who would eat in Spain must bring his kitchen along. - German saying
If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. - Harry S Truman
I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder
Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday. - Woody Allen
There is no likelihood man can ever tap the power of the atom. - Robert Millikan
I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald
I always had a fantasy of being a chef, because I like kitchen life. - Geoffrey Rush
Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown
My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector
I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick
I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright
When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell
My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss
There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland
I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove. - Groucho Marx
I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco
Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on. - Louis L'Amour
A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. - Kin Hubbard
Ladies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel but not in the kitchen. - George Bernard Shaw
Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. - Ambrose Bierce
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield
Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon
With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson
I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer
For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones
In the words of Harry S. Truman, "If it's too hot in the kitchen, stay away from the cook." - Archie Bunker
I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood
Whenever I have a spare second, I'm in the kitchen whipping up a batch of cookies. I make a mean batch of chocolate chippers. - Karlie Kloss
Talking is a hydrant in the yard and writing is a faucet upstairs in the house. Opening the first takes the pressure off the second. - Robert Frost
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner
My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle