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Meet Your Future Ex-Wife

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Meet Your Future Ex-Wife thanks to Chris Johnson

QuotaBills
Radio has no future. - Lord Kelvin

Only you can control your future. - Dr. Seuss

Wine and children speak the truth. - Greek Proverb

The future comes one day at a time. - Dean Acheson

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

The greatest danger to our future is apathy. - Jane Goodall

I go to school the youth to learn the future. - Robert Frost

Wine is the flower in the buttonhole of life. - Werumeus Buning

The future is hidden even from those who make it. - Anatole France

Never make forecasts, especially about the future. - Samuel Goldwyn

There is nothing like a dream to create the future. - Victor Hugo

He that fears not the future may enjoy the present. - Thomas Fuller

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

Liquor talks mighty loud when it gets loose from the jug. - Joel C Harris

The world of the future is in our making. Tomorrow is now. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Remember the past, live in the present, look to the future. - Joe Segal

The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power. - Unknown

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

Children are one third of our population and all of our future. - Unknown

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Our faith in the present dies out long before our faith in the future. - Ruth Benedict

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur

Future generations may well ask themselves, what were our parents thinking? - Al Gore

Lying makes a problem part of the future; truth makes a problem part of the past. - Rick Pitino

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. - Phyllis Diller

Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields

Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins

One day you'll find someone who doesn't care about your past because they want to be your future. - Unknown

The future will be what it will, and fretting about it will only make your fears more likely to come true. - Christopher Paolini

The danger of the past was that men became slaves. The danger of the future is that men may become robots. - Eric Fromm

To live only for some future goal is shallow. It's the sides of the mountains that sustain life, not the top. - Robert Pirsig

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

Canceled checks will be to future historians and cultural anthropologists what the Dead Sea Scrolls and hieroglyphics are to us. - Brent Staples

Learn from the past, set vivid, detailed goals for the future, and live in the only moment of time over which you have any control: now. - Denis Waitley

Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present. - Marcus Aurelius

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

The future rewards those who press on. I don't have time to feel sorry for myself. I don't have time to complain. I'm going to press on. - Barack Obama


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