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Meet Your Future Ex-Wife

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Meet Your Future Ex-Wife thanks to Chris Johnson

QuotaBills
Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Inspiration is remembering the future. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Wine is the flower in the buttonhole of life. - Werumeus Buning

Go for it now. The future is promised to no one. - Wayne Dyer

What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb

The best way to predict the future is to create it. - Peter F Drucker

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

Every hour of lost time is a chance of future misfortune. - Napoleon

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Do something today that your future self will thank you for. - Unknown

Learn from the past, Hope for the future, Live in the present. - Ken Lancaster

Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present. - Roger Babson

Young is the one that plunges in the future and never looks back. - Milan Kundera

You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini. - Mae West

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future. - Paul Boese

The only thing we know about the future is that it will be different. - Peter F Drucker

Upper classes are a nation's past; the middle class is its future. - Ayn Rand

A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily. - Dan Seligman

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

Who controls the past controls the future; who controls the present controls the past. - George Orwell

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

But can we, should we, let apprehensions about the future immobilize us in the present? - Arundhati Roy

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument. - C.S. Forester

Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

That man is prudent who neither hopes nor fears anything from the uncertain events of the future. - Anatole France

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future. - Denis Waitley

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present and future. - Gail L. Buckley

Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future. - John F Kennedy

People respond when you tell them there is a great future in front of you, you can leave your past behind. - Joel Osteen

Map out your future - but do it in pencil. The road ahead is as long as you make it. Make it worth the trip. - Jon Bon Jovi

Real happiness is not of temporary enjoyment, but is so interwoven with the future that it blesses for ever. - James L Basford

When we yield to discouragement it is usually because we give too much thought to the past and to the future. - St. Theresa of Lisieux

I'd hate to be an alcoholic with Alzheimer's. Imagine needing a drink and forgetting where you put it. - George Carlin

To the wrongs that need resistance, To the right that needs assistance, To the future in the distance, Give yourselves. - Carrie C Catt

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

Neither a wise man nor a brave man lies down on the tracks of history to wait for the train of the future to run over him. - Dwight D Eisenhower

To believe in something not yet proved and to underwrite it with our lives; it is the only way we can leave the future open. - Lillian Smith

A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world. - Lois Wyse

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster


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