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Meet Your Future Ex-Wife

Bartender invitation sign

Meet Your Future Ex-Wife thanks to Chris Johnson

QuotaBills
I touch the future. I teach. - Christa McAuliffe

The future comes one day at a time. - Dean Acheson

The bridge to the future in the phallus. - D.H. Lawrence

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood

Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Life is a series of collisions with the future. - Jose Ortega Y Gasset

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

The future belongs to those who prepare for it today. - Malcolm X

The fountain of youth is a mixture of gin and vermouth. - Cole Porter

Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now. - Steven Wright

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. - James Thurber

Here are some names to look forward to - perhaps in the future. - David Coleman

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do. - Dylan Thomas

A speculator is a man who observes the future, and acts before it occurs. - Bernard Baruch

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur

Hold on to a ray of hope, and a promise of future... and follow your dreams. - Unknown

Any lack of confidence in the economic future of the United States is foolish. - Herbert Hoover

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life. - George Burns

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana

Cease to inquire what the future has in store, and to take as a gift whatever the day brings forth. - Horace

One day you'll find someone who doesn't care about your past because they want to be your future. - Unknown

Hope is sweet-minded and sweet-eyed. It draws pictures; it weaves fancies; it fills the future with delight. - Henry Ward Beecher

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

Neither a wise man nor a brave man lies down on the tracks of history to wait for the train of the future to run over him. - Dwight D Eisenhower

To believe in something not yet proved and to underwrite it with our lives; it is the only way we can leave the future open. - Lillian Smith

A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world. - Lois Wyse

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

I will never again underestimate the power of anticipation. There is no better boost in the present than an invitation into the future. - Caroline Kepnes

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

The future rewards those who press on. I don't have time to feel sorry for myself. I don't have time to complain. I'm going to press on. - Barack Obama

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison


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