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Meet Your Future Ex-Wife

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Meet Your Future Ex-Wife thanks to Chris Johnson

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I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Without forgiveness, there is no future. - Desmond Tutu

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

The future depends on what we do in the present. - Mahatma Gandhi

Go for it now. The future is promised to no one. - Wayne Dyer

The future is hidden even from those who make it. - Anatole France

There is no future for a people who deny their past. - Adam Clayton Powell Jr.

There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson

I like men who have a future and women who have a past. - Oscar Wilde

If God forbade drinking, would He have made wine so good? - Cardinal Richelieu

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley

Do something today that your future self will thank you for. - Unknown

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

Republicans are men of narrow vision, who are afraid of the future. - Jimmy Carter

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future. I live now. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time. - Dean Acheson

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do. - Dylan Thomas

Man will never reach the moon regardless of all future scientific advances. - Lee De Forest

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

We yearned for the future. How did we learn it, that talent for insatiability? - Margaret Atwood

Descartes commanded the future from his study more than Napoleon from the throne. - Oliver Holmes

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany

Prophecy: The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery. - Ambrose Bierce

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker

I object to people running down the future. I intend to live the rest of my life there. - Charles F Kettering

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

Our children may learn about heroes of the past. Our task is to make ourselves architects of the future. - Jomo Mzee Kenyatta

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

The future will be what it will, and fretting about it will only make your fears more likely to come true. - Christopher Paolini

People respond when you tell them there is a great future in front of you, you can leave your past behind. - Joel Osteen

When we yield to discouragement it is usually because we give too much thought to the past and to the future. - St. Theresa of Lisieux

The past is a source of knowledge, and the future is a source of hope. Love of the past implies faith in the future. - Stephen Ambrose

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

We have embarked upon the world's largest and longest cocktail party, and every issue imaginable is up for grabs. - Geoffrey Moore

A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past, he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future. - Sydney J. Harris

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

To make no mistake is not in the power of man; but from their errors and mistakes the wise and good learn wisdom for the future. - Plutarch

In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided; and that is the lamp of experience. I know of no way of judging the future but by the past. - Patrick Henry

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor


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