#1 humor site on the 'net

Meadow Cakes or Elk Cookies?

Never kick them on a hot day

Meadow Cakes or Elk Cookies? thanks to Howard Chapman

QuotaBills
In the dark, all cows are black. - German Proverb

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

Sacred cows make the best hamburger. - Mark Twain

Vice-President: A cow's fifth teat. - Harry S Truman

Milk the cow but do not pull off the udder. - Greek Proverb

Laughing Stock: Cattle with a sense of humour - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Why buy a cow if you can get the milk for free. - English Proverb

We can dance on pinheads till the cows come home. - Alastair Campbell

De-caffeinated: What a cow gets when it has a baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

I wake up laughing every day. I get a kick out of life. - Bruce Willis

Change is like a charging cow. Don't ignore it - milk it. - Andrew Leigh

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

If you want to gather honey, don't kick over the beehive. - Dale Carnegie

There's no educational value in the second kick of a mule. - American saying

Mrs. O'Leary's cow is sorry, but Cleveland burned anyway. - Archie Bunker

The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other milk. - Ogden Nash

All the good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow. - Grant Wood

You should never hesitate to trade your cow for a handful of magic beans. - Tom Robbins

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips

Any jackass can kick down a barn, but it takes a good carpenter to build one. - Sam Rayburn

It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window. - Raymond Chandler

Have the courage to face a difficulty lest it kick you harder than you bargained for. - Stanislaus I

Mankind has a free will; but it is free to milk cows and to build houses, nothing more. - Martin Luther

Beauty, to me, is about being comfortable in your own skin. That, or a kick-ass red lipstick. - Gwyneth Paltrow

I never said all actors are cattle; what I said was all actors should be treated like cattle. - Alfred Hitchcock

I was in a sushi bar and it dawned on me - how could I discriminate between a cow and a fish? - Carre Otis

Don't let negative and toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the rent and kick them out. - Zig Ziglar

If I could kick the person in the tail that causes me the most problems I could not sit down for a week. - Will Rogers

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you. - Walt Disney

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month. - Theodore Roosevelt

Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally. - Alfred Hitchcock

I could dance with you till the cows come home...
on second thought, I'll dance with the cows till you come home. - Groucho Marx

For almost seventy years the life insurance industry has been a smug sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull. - Ralph Nader

Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another. - George Carlin

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering, stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them. - Dylan Moran


Chicago Politics

BigFoot Caught On Tape

Bookstore Entrance

Computer Detergent

Covid-Friendly Smoker Hood

Ethiopian Math

Batman Equation

a real Bald Eagle

The Meaning Of Life

Back To The Fuchsia

Horse Mane Macrame

Out Of Estrogen - Make My Day

Staff Communications

Sew It Seams

Muslim Camel

Sister DNA

Join The Resistance

Rabbi Road

Vatican Chess

Pentecost Sunday

Nun Chairs - Great Looking Legs

Organ Donor

Moldy Bible

Gyprock Prayer