#1 humor site on the 'net

Manitoba Spring

Spring thaw can't come early enough on the prairies

Manitoba Spring thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - George Carlin

Relief: What trees do in the spring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Blossom by blossom the spring begins. - Algernon C Swinburne

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. - Mae West

If winter comes, can spring be far behind? - Percy Bysshe Shelley

Spring work is going on with joyful enthusiasm. - John Muir

Spring adds new life and new joy to all that is. - Jessica Harrelson

An end is in sight to the severe weather shortage. - Ian Macaskill

To shorten winter, borrow some money due in spring. - W.J. Vogel

Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower. - Albert Camus

Finally my winter fat is done. Now I have spring rolls. - Unknown

Spring shows what God can do with a drab and dirty world. - Virgil A Kraft

There is no friend like a sister, in calm or stormy weather. - Christina Rossetti

A heresy can spring only from a system that is in full vigor. - Eric Hoffer

Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush. - Doug Larson

Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative. - Oscar Wilde

Creative play is like a spring that bubbles up from deep within a child. - Joan Almon

It is spring again. The earth is like a child that knows poems by heart. - Rainer M. Rilke

She walked across the ballroom as if she were trudging through deep snow. - Noel Coward

Sitting quietly, doing nothing, spring comes, and the grass grows by itself. - Zenrin

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

I suppose the best kind of spring morning is the best weather God has to offer. - Dodie Smith

Everything holds its breath except spring. She bursts through as strong as ever. - B.M. Bower

It is only in sorrow bad weather masters us; in joy we face the storm and defy it. - Amelia Barr

I stuck my head out the window this morning and spring kissed my bang in the face. - Langston Hughes

When spring came, even the false spring, there were no problems except where to be happiest. - Ernest Hemingway

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

Nostalgia in reverse, the longing for yet another strange land, grew especially strong in spring. - Vladimir Nabokov

It is only the farmer who faithfully plants seeds in the Spring, who reaps a harvest in the Autumn. - B C Forbes

Italy, and the spring and first love all together should suffice to make the gloomiest person happy. - Bertrand Russell

The sun always comes up. Spring always comes after winter. The river always reaches the ocean. Always. - Maxime Lagace

If people did not love one another, I really don't see what use there would be in having any spring. - Victor Hugo

To be interested in the changing seasons is a happier state of mind than to be hopelessly in love with spring. - George Santayana

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love. - Margaret Atwood

Life is no different than the weather. Not only is it unpredictable, but it shows us a new perspective of the world every day. - Suzy Kassem

The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it, and wrong too often for us to rely on it. - Patrick Young

The long, dull, monotonous years of middle-aged prosperity or middle-aged adversity are excellent campaigning weather for the devil. - C S Lewis

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome. - Anne Bradstreet

Or maybe spring is the season of love and fall the season of mad lust. Spring for flirting but fall for the untamed delicious wild thing. - Elizabeth Cohen

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci


Pocket Change

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Welcome to Texas, USPS

Not Without A Washer

Jogger's Weight Scale

Toilet Snake

Eye Testing In Progress

Parent Signature

Long Bore Gun

Bird Cam

Lost Wormhole

Where Weir'd Frogmen Jump In

Low Ceiling Workout

Dog Diner

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

Cow Farts

Revenge

Gaping Hole Costume

Redneck Water Skiing

Harrison Ford

Plenty of Room for God's Creatures

Aussie Selfie

Pyramid Kiss

Piano Door Bell