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Mandage

Redneck first aid medical treatment

Mandage thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

Nothing so clearly discovers a spiritual man as his treatment of an erring brother. - Augustine

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer


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