#1 humor site on the 'net

Mal Nutrition

Skeleton in the X-ray Department

Mal Nutrition thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

Rigid, the skeleton of habit alone upholds the human frame. - Virginia Woolf

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley

It is better to have ten skeletons in your closet, than walk with no bones. - Anthony Liccione

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance. - George Bernard Shaw

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

While you were busy judging others you left your closet open and your skeletons fell out. - Unknown

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

They went into my closets looking for skeletons, but thank God, all they found were shoes. - Imelda Marcos

My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it. - Paula Poundstone

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

When you hide the bodies of the problems, that's how you eventually amass skeletons in your closet. - Faydra D. Fields

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

The more work you put in on your outline and getting the skeleton of your story right, the easier the process is later. - Drew Goddard

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller


My New Diet

We Is Closed

Cheap Child Support

Ankle Warning

Peanut Sale

Beer Chess

Astronomy Perspective

Wolf Chase

Coffee Caricature

The Working Man

North of Somewhere

Salmon Bikini

Mexican Phys Ed Classes

Parasite Trivia

Plug Puller

Steamworks Bathroom

Another Repost

Pipeline Protesters

Bread Gloves

Winterpeg Warm

Pen Sale Not

Soda Bottle Boat

Raccoon Rock

Cement Truck Lane