#1 humor site on the 'net

Line Driver

Driving down the center line of life

Line Driver thanks to Mike King

QuotaBills
Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown

The road to Easy Street goes through the sewer. - John Madden

Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. - Unknown

Skepticism is the first step on the road to philosophy. - Denis Diderot

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Safety Belt: The one you don't drink before driving home - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

He who walks in the middle of the road gets hit from both sides. - George P. Schultz

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces. - Will Rogers

A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it. - Jean de La Fontaine

Show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to follow. - Bible

I've never had a clear road map. When things come along, I benefit. - Greg Kinnear

If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there. - Lewis Carroll

Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" - Steven Wright

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

All you need is the plan, the road map, and the courage to press on to your destination. - Earl Nightingale

The church is close, but the road is icey. The tavern is far, but I will walk carefully. - Russian Proverb

Beneath this slab
John Brown is stowed;
He watched the ads
And not the road. - Ogden Nash

Good friends are like shock absorbers. They help you take the lumps and bumps on the road of life. - Frank Tyger

He who would arrive at the appointed end must follow a single road and not wander through many ways. - Seneca

Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides. - Margaret Thatcher

"Officer, I know I was going faster than 55 MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour." - Steven Wright

All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don't sit looking at it - walk. - Ayn Rand

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

A great accomplishment shouldn't be the end of the road, just the starting point for the next leap forward. - Harvey Mackay

You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain

Our battered suitcases were piled on the sidewalk again; we had longer ways to go. But no matter, the road is life. - Jack Kerouac

Happiness is to be found along the way, not at the end of the road, for then the journey is over and it is too late. - Robert R. Updegraff

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you're riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. - Bob Marley

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world. - Lois Wyse

Our minds are as different as our faces: we are all traveling to one destination; happiness; but few are going by the same road. - Charles Caleb Colton

Faithfulness is essential to the character of a friend: without this there can be no safety in intimacy with and confidence in him. - Samuel Hopkins

Never look down to test the ground before taking your next step; only he who keeps his eye fixed on the far horizon will find his right road. - Dag Hammarskjold

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly

People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost. - H Jackson Brown, Jr.


Microscopic Reader

Brief Case

Hairstyle Of The Year

Duck Heist - Ducks Gone Bad

Swan Heels

Windshield Defrogger

Side-Ways

Sonic Straw

Man At Work

Uncorked Wine

Double Handicap

Tetris Construction

Clorox Respirator

Our Aim

Truck Rest Stop

Romaine Empire

Hardworking Wife

What's That?

Long, Happy Marriage

Redneck iPad

Leonardo da Vinci's Unfinished Portrait

Microsoft Innovation

Mop Dog

Ventilated Bridge