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Laxative Cream Pie

Mom's secret recipe for flatulent dessert

Laxative Cream Pie thanks to Howard Chapman

How she made things interesting while stuck in the kitchen cooking and cleaning while the men sat around watching football

QuotaBills
Mamogram: A telegram to Mom - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Pumpkin pie fixes everything. - Unknown

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

Life is too short not to order the bacon dessert. - George Takei

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? - Phyllis Diller

My mom had a very difficult childhood. My childhood. - Cindy Marzahn

Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square. - Unknown

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office. - Heloise Cruse

God made rainy days so gardeners could get the housework done. - Unknown

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen

We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

If I didn't have you as a mom, I'd choose you as a friend. - Unknown

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

A joyful life is an individual creation that cannot be copied from a recipe. - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin

Housework is work directly opposed to the possibility of human self-actualization. - Ann Oakley

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. - Carl Sagan

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie? - Lisa Loeb

You know you're a mom when you understand why mama bear's porridge was cold. - Jody Defries

A recipe is only a theme, which an intelligent cook can play each time with a variation. - Madame Benoit

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

My mom was fair. You never knew whether she was going to swing with her right or her left. - Herb Caen

If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner

The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. - Carl Jung

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity. - Erma Bombeck

My husband and I have figured out a really good system about the housework: neither one of us does it. - Dottie Archibald

You really don't need to study how to change a diaper. As a new mom, you learn pretty darn quickly! - Ivanka Trump

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

I have an abundance mentality. When people are genuinely happy at the successes of others, the pie gets larger. - Stephen Covey

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan

The scorn men express for a male who does housework is exceeded only by their aversion to a woman who doesn't. - Penny Kome

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

In Hollywood, you play a mom, and the next thing you know, you're on The Golden Girls. They age you so fast. - Gabrielle Union

Over the years, I learned so much from mom. She taught me about the importance of home and history and family and tradition. - Martha Stewart

Makeup: Lipstick, eyeliner, blush which ironically makes Mom look better while making her young daughter look 'like a tramp' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus


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