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Laxative Cream Pie

Mom's secret recipe for flatulent dessert

Laxative Cream Pie thanks to Howard Chapman

How she made things interesting while stuck in the kitchen cooking and cleaning while the men sat around watching football

QuotaBills
Lemon merinj pie - Archie Bunker

Mamogram: A telegram to Mom - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I got 99 donuts 'cause my Mom ate one. - Unknown

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

Life is too short not to order the bacon dessert. - George Takei

My mom had a very difficult childhood. My childhood. - Cindy Marzahn

Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square. - Unknown

God made rainy days so gardeners could get the housework done. - Unknown

My mom always said normal is just a cycle on the washing machine. - Wynonna Judd

I know enough to know that when you're in a pickle... call Mom. - Jennifer Garner

A bright person can always think of something better to do than housework. - Ruby Lou Barnhill

A joyful life is an individual creation that cannot be copied from a recipe. - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie? - Lisa Loeb

You know you're a mom when you understand why mama bear's porridge was cold. - Jody Defries

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

A recipe is only a theme, which an intelligent cook can play each time with a variation. - Madame Benoit

If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner

Once you're a mom, you're always a mom. It's like riding a bike, you never forget. - Taraji P Henson

The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. - Carl Jung

My husband and I have figured out a really good system about the housework: neither one of us does it. - Dottie Archibald

You really don't need to study how to change a diaper. As a new mom, you learn pretty darn quickly! - Ivanka Trump

Once you have mastered a technique, you hardly need look at a recipe again, and can take off on your own. - Julia Child

I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. - Joan Rivers

You know you're a mom when you go to the store for yourself and come out with a bag of things for your kids. - Unknown

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan

I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick. - Sarah Palin

The scorn men express for a male who does housework is exceeded only by their aversion to a woman who doesn't. - Penny Kome

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

In Hollywood, you play a mom, and the next thing you know, you're on The Golden Girls. They age you so fast. - Gabrielle Union

When it comes to housework the one thing no book of household management can ever tell you is how to begin. Or maybe I mean why. - Katharine Whitehorn

Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

Instead of doing cinnamon, nutmeg, and all those baking spices I'll have one spice that's for sweets, and that's pumpkin pie spice. - Sandra Lee

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren


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