Laxative Cream Pie

Lemon merinj pie - Archie Bunker

Mamogram: A telegram to Mom - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Pumpkin pie fixes everything. - Unknown

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

I got 99 donuts 'cause my Mom ate one. - Unknown

Life is too short not to order the bacon dessert. - George Takei

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? - Phyllis Diller

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office. - Heloise Cruse

God made rainy days so gardeners could get the housework done. - Unknown

My mom always said normal is just a cycle on the washing machine. - Wynonna Judd

We laugh, we cry, we make time fly. We are best friends, my mom and I. - Unknown

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

Work and pray, live on hay, you'll get pie in the sky when you die. - Joe Hill

A bright person can always think of something better to do than housework. - Ruby Lou Barnhill

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it. - Evan Esar

Housework is work directly opposed to the possibility of human self-actualization. - Ann Oakley

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris

Acceptance, tolerance, bravery, compassion. These are the things my mom taught me. - Lady Gaga

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. - Tim Allen

My mom always said, "You'd rather have smile lines than frown lines." - Cindy Crawford

I never know what to say when people ask me what my hobbies are. I mean, I'm a mom. - Unknown

A recipe is only a theme, which an intelligent cook can play each time with a variation. - Madame Benoit

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

If you have a mom, there is nowhere you are likely to go where a prayer has not already been. - Robert Brault

Said the daughter: "I don't have to help my Mom with the housework. She knows how." - Unknown

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity. - Erma Bombeck

You really don't need to study how to change a diaper. As a new mom, you learn pretty darn quickly! - Ivanka Trump

Once you have mastered a technique, you hardly need look at a recipe again, and can take off on your own. - Julia Child

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. - Joan Rivers

You know you're a mom when you go to the store for yourself and come out with a bag of things for your kids. - Unknown

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan

The scorn men express for a male who does housework is exceeded only by their aversion to a woman who doesn't. - Penny Kome

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana

When it comes to housework the one thing no book of household management can ever tell you is how to begin. Or maybe I mean why. - Katharine Whitehorn

Makeup: Lipstick, eyeliner, blush which ironically makes Mom look better while making her young daughter look 'like a tramp' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren