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Laxative Cream Pie

Mom's secret recipe for flatulent dessert

Laxative Cream Pie thanks to Howard Chapman

How she made things interesting while stuck in the kitchen cooking and cleaning while the men sat around watching football

QuotaBills
Lemon merinj pie - Archie Bunker

Mamogram: A telegram to Mom - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Pumpkin pie fixes everything. - Unknown

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

I got 99 donuts 'cause my Mom ate one. - Unknown

Life is too short not to order the bacon dessert. - George Takei

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? - Phyllis Diller

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office. - Heloise Cruse

God made rainy days so gardeners could get the housework done. - Unknown

My mom always said normal is just a cycle on the washing machine. - Wynonna Judd

We laugh, we cry, we make time fly. We are best friends, my mom and I. - Unknown

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

Work and pray, live on hay, you'll get pie in the sky when you die. - Joe Hill

A bright person can always think of something better to do than housework. - Ruby Lou Barnhill

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it. - Evan Esar

Housework is work directly opposed to the possibility of human self-actualization. - Ann Oakley

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris

Acceptance, tolerance, bravery, compassion. These are the things my mom taught me. - Lady Gaga

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. - Tim Allen

My mom always said, "You'd rather have smile lines than frown lines." - Cindy Crawford

I never know what to say when people ask me what my hobbies are. I mean, I'm a mom. - Unknown

A recipe is only a theme, which an intelligent cook can play each time with a variation. - Madame Benoit

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

If you have a mom, there is nowhere you are likely to go where a prayer has not already been. - Robert Brault

Said the daughter: "I don't have to help my Mom with the housework. She knows how." - Unknown

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity. - Erma Bombeck

You really don't need to study how to change a diaper. As a new mom, you learn pretty darn quickly! - Ivanka Trump

Once you have mastered a technique, you hardly need look at a recipe again, and can take off on your own. - Julia Child

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. - Joan Rivers

You know you're a mom when you go to the store for yourself and come out with a bag of things for your kids. - Unknown

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan

The scorn men express for a male who does housework is exceeded only by their aversion to a woman who doesn't. - Penny Kome

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana

When it comes to housework the one thing no book of household management can ever tell you is how to begin. Or maybe I mean why. - Katharine Whitehorn

Makeup: Lipstick, eyeliner, blush which ironically makes Mom look better while making her young daughter look 'like a tramp' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren


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