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Laxative Cream Pie

Mom's secret recipe for flatulent dessert

Laxative Cream Pie thanks to Howard Chapman

How she made things interesting while stuck in the kitchen cooking and cleaning while the men sat around watching football

QuotaBills
Lemon merinj pie - Archie Bunker

Mamogram: A telegram to Mom - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. - Ernestine Ulmer

Housework, if you do it right, can kill you. - Erma Bombeck

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

Marrying is easy - it's housework that's hard. - Proverb

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. - Unknown

God made rainy days so gardeners could get the housework done. - Unknown

Dubm Waiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Work and pray, live on hay, you'll get pie in the sky when you die. - Joe Hill

If you give everybody a slice of pie, you will still have more than enough. - Jay Leno

My mom told me a long time ago, 'Never get in a fight with a lady.' - Oliver North

Apple: Nutritious lunchtime dessert which children will trade for cupcakes. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

From every Englishman emanates a kind of gas, the deadly choke-lamp of boredom. - Heinrich Heine

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin

Housework is work directly opposed to the possibility of human self-actualization. - Ann Oakley

Acceptance, tolerance, bravery, compassion. These are the things my mom taught me. - Lady Gaga

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie? - Lisa Loeb

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. - Dave Barry

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

I never know what to say when people ask me what my hobbies are. I mean, I'm a mom. - Unknown

A recipe is only a theme, which an intelligent cook can play each time with a variation. - Madame Benoit

Because: Mom's reason for having kids do things which can't be explained logically - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Once you're a mom, you're always a mom. It's like riding a bike, you never forget. - Taraji P Henson

Said the daughter: "I don't have to help my Mom with the housework. She knows how." - Unknown

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity. - Erma Bombeck

Once you have mastered a technique, you hardly need look at a recipe again, and can take off on your own. - Julia Child

Food: The response Mom usually gives in answer to the question, "What's for dinner tonight?" - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

I have an abundance mentality. When people are genuinely happy at the successes of others, the pie gets larger. - Stephen Covey

When I moved out of my mom's house at 18 I was almost as sad to leave her sewing machine behind as anything else. - Beth Ditto

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

In Hollywood, you play a mom, and the next thing you know, you're on The Golden Girls. They age you so fast. - Gabrielle Union

I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana

When it comes to housework the one thing no book of household management can ever tell you is how to begin. Or maybe I mean why. - Katharine Whitehorn

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly


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