Just One More Glass

Drink triple, see double, act single. - Unknown

Work is the curse of the drinking class. - Oscar Wilde

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Set wide the window. Let me drink the day. - Edith Wharton

Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m. - WC Fields

Those who drink to forget, please pay in advance. - Irish Saying

Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Teaching has ruined more American novelists than drink. - Gore Vidal

Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If God forbade drinking, would He have made wine so good? - Cardinal Richelieu

He who has satisfied his thirst turns his back on the well. - Baltasar Gracian

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water. - WC Fields

Water Hazard: Giving the kids too much to drink before a road trip - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I am the vessel. The draft is God's. And God is the thirsty one. - Dag Hammarskjold

I drink too much. Last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it. - Rodney Dangerfield

Drinking gives one a very clear sense of who's to blame for everything. - Unknown

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. - WC Fields

I'm a Catholic and I can't commit suicide, but I plan to drink myself to death. - Jack Kerouac

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living. - Jean Kerr

When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument. - C.S. Forester

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

Like a camel, I can go without a drink for seven days - and have on several horrible occasions. - Herb Caen

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

The drink and I have been friends for so long, it would be a pity for me to leave without one last kiss. - Turlough O'Carolan

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer. - Clement Freud

I don't really drink sodas, but when I have popcorn or pizza I need a little. It's the perfect combination. - Alessandra Ambrosio

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. - George Burns

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The call of the yellow-billed cuckoo of North America is often mistaken for a bloodhound drinking a bowl of milk. He goes coulp coulp coulp. - Will Cuppy

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown