#1 humor site on the 'net

Jail Sale

Sign of a pending prison sentence

Jail Sale thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin

A spotless house is a sign of a misspent life. - Unknown

Be thine own palace, or the world's thy jail. - John Donne

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. - Steven Wright

A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young

Jail is no place for a young fellow. There's no advancement. - Groucho Marx

A good thing sells itself; a bad thing advertises itself for sale. - African Saying

A great many people think that polysyllables are a sign of intelligence. - Barbara Walters

There should be no bank too big to fail but no individual too big to jail. - Hillary Clinton

The sign said "eight items or less." So I changed my name to Les. - Steven Wright

A sign of celebrity is that his name is often worth more than his services. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan

Please don't come to my garage sale if you've ever let me borrow something. - Mike Spears

Contradiction is not a sign of falsity, nor the lack of contradiction a sign of truth. - Blaise Pascal

Every sale has five basic obstacles: no need, no money, no hurry, no desire, no trust. - Zig Ziglar

I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign? - Albert Einstein

You will never be free until you free yourself from the prison of your own false thoughts. - Unknown

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell

I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale." - Steven Wright

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton. - Dan Duva

If the sign on your heart says, "WELCOME", the love will come pouring in from everywhere. - Susan Jeffers

I got all the schooling any actress needs. That is, I learned to write well enough to sign contracts. - Hermione Gingold

I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired. - Steven Wright

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals. - Ronnie Corbett

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative. - Woody Allen

Crying doesn't indicate that you are weak. Ever since you were born it's been a sign that you are alive. - Unknown

Pain is a sign that we are alive. Problems are a sign that we are strong. Prayer is a sign that we are not alone. - Unknown

One of the many lessons that one learns in prison is, that things are what they are and will be what they will be. - Oscar Wilde

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you're riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. - Bob Marley

Who is apt, on occasion, to assign a multitude of reasons when one will do? This is a sure sign of weakness in argument. - Harriet Martineau

The greatest sign of success for a teacher is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist." - Maria Montessori

One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them. - Virginia Woolf

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

A man’s life is interesting primarily when he has failed – I well know. For it’s a sign that he tried to surpass himself. - Georges Clemenceau

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff


Now, That's Using Your Noodle!

Taking No Chance with the Mother-In-Law

Good Friday Service

Jerusalem Obituary, 33 A.D.

Cold Easter in Europe

Attack Of The Easter Bunnies

Easter Identity Theft

Easter Tree

The Crucifixion

Saudi Culture Clash

Jewrusalem

Moose Loader

Radioactive Games

Speed Limit Enforced by Attack Aircraft

Is Anyone Home?

Edible Serving Glasses

Where White Man Went Wrong

Shimmy Car-nage

Sand Dive

Break Glass Adventure

Chinese Chicken Nuggets

Desert Road Bumps

Subway Swing

Fish Eye Lens