Jail Sale

An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin

A spotless house is a sign of a misspent life. - Unknown

Be thine own palace, or the world's thy jail. - John Donne

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. - Steven Wright

A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young

Jail is no place for a young fellow. There's no advancement. - Groucho Marx

A good thing sells itself; a bad thing advertises itself for sale. - African Saying

A great many people think that polysyllables are a sign of intelligence. - Barbara Walters

There should be no bank too big to fail but no individual too big to jail. - Hillary Clinton

The sign said "eight items or less." So I changed my name to Les. - Steven Wright

A sign of celebrity is that his name is often worth more than his services. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan

Please don't come to my garage sale if you've ever let me borrow something. - Mike Spears

Contradiction is not a sign of falsity, nor the lack of contradiction a sign of truth. - Blaise Pascal

Every sale has five basic obstacles: no need, no money, no hurry, no desire, no trust. - Zig Ziglar

I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign? - Albert Einstein

You will never be free until you free yourself from the prison of your own false thoughts. - Unknown

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell

I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale." - Steven Wright

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton. - Dan Duva

If the sign on your heart says, "WELCOME", the love will come pouring in from everywhere. - Susan Jeffers

I got all the schooling any actress needs. That is, I learned to write well enough to sign contracts. - Hermione Gingold

I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired. - Steven Wright

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals. - Ronnie Corbett

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative. - Woody Allen

Crying doesn't indicate that you are weak. Ever since you were born it's been a sign that you are alive. - Unknown

Pain is a sign that we are alive. Problems are a sign that we are strong. Prayer is a sign that we are not alone. - Unknown

One of the many lessons that one learns in prison is, that things are what they are and will be what they will be. - Oscar Wilde

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you're riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. - Bob Marley

Who is apt, on occasion, to assign a multitude of reasons when one will do? This is a sure sign of weakness in argument. - Harriet Martineau

The greatest sign of success for a teacher is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist." - Maria Montessori

One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them. - Virginia Woolf

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

A man’s life is interesting primarily when he has failed – I well know. For it’s a sign that he tried to surpass himself. - Georges Clemenceau

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff