#1 humor site on the 'net

Israeli Date

Does your girlfriend carry an M-16?

Israeli Date thanks to Roy Turkington

QuotaBills
Salivation Army - Archie Bunker

A good soldier is a poor scout. - Cheyenne Proverb

Leave the gun, take the cannoli. - The Godfather

Love is a kind of military service. - Ovid

I am not a politician, but a soldier. - Idi Amin

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

In war, there are no unwounded soldiers. - Jose Narosky

Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value. - Marechal Ferdinand Foch

The dead soldier's silence sings our national anthem. - Aaron Kilbourn

We come not to mourn our dead soldiers, but to praise them. - Francis A Walker

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? - Mae West

Where some states have an army, the Prussian army has a state. - Voltaire

A conquering army on the border will not be stopped by eloquence. - Otto von Bismarck

Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not. - Thomas Jefferson

Be harmonious with each other, enrich the soldiers, ignore all others. - Septimius Severus

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

Your heaviest artillery will be your will to live. Keep that big gun going. - Norman Cousins

An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. - Victor Hugo

A piece of spaghetti or a military unit can only be led from the front end. - George S Patton

You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. - Al Capone

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

If you have a gun you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank you can rob everyone. - Unknown

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith

You still can't find Israel on a map of the Middle East in a Palestinian schoolbook. - Suzanne Fields

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

Samson, he takes the jawbone out of the grass and he kills the whole army of the Phillipines. - Archie Bunker

It used to be that when all else failed, a guy went into the army; now he becomes a consultant. - Blackie Sherrod

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can, only as one who has seen its brutality, its stupidity. - Dwight D Eisenhower

I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris

Only think of two things - the gun and the tape. When you hear the one, just run like hell until you break the other. - Sam Mussabini

Maybe the answer to Selective Service is to start everyone off in the army and draft them for civilian life as needed. - Bill Vaughan

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

It takes but one positive thought when given a chance to survive and thrive to overpower an entire army of negative thoughts. - Robert H. Schuller

Israel is still the only country in the world against which there is a written document to the effect that it must disappear. - Menachem Begin

I come bearing an olive branch in one hand, and the freedom fighter's gun in the other. Do not let the olive branch fall from my hand. - Yasser Arafat

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

I'd love to see Christ come back to crush the spirit of hate and make men put down their guns. I'd also like just one more hit single. - Tiny Tim


Back In Five Minutes

Winterized Motorcycle

If IKEA Ran GM

Six Hunnit

Different Drugs

Extreme Value

Spotted Spotters

Ant Attack

Facebook Closure

African Meal on Wheels

Hadoukens

Free Gas

Wannabe Shoplifter

Breaker Bypass

Ice Hand

Invisible Homeless Man

No Muff Too Tough

Safe Removals

Yoga Business Card

Segway in Rural Norway

Mom Lookout

Dog Diner

It's Too Cold To Ride Outside

Ye Olde Simple Simon