#1 humor site on the 'net

Irish Advent Calendar

Setting a Guinness Record for whiskey and scotch

Irish Advent Calendar thanks to Howard Chapman

Irish whiskey is whiskey made on the island of Ireland. The word 'whiskey' is an Anglicisation of uisce beatha or uisge beatha, a phrase from the Goidelic branch of languages (Irish, Scottish Gaelic and Manx) meaning 'water of life'.

QuotaBills
I am very proud to be Irish. - Philip Treacy

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow. - James Joyce

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

There are not many Irish people playing tennis. - Goran Ivanisevic

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

The Irish are a very popular race - with themselves. - Brendan Behan

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford

There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson

The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

The Irish forgive their great men when they are safely buried. - Unknown

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

It is a symbol of Irish art. The cracked looking-glass of a servant. - James Joyce

I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey

I am who I am: an Irish Catholic kid, working class from Long Island. And I made it big. - Bill O'Reilly

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

I had a very happy childhood, which is unsuitable if you're going to be an Irish writer. - Maeve Binchy

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

If I had my way, I would remove January from the calendar altogether and have an extra July instead. - Roald Dahl

I think I'm going to keep my Irish accent forever now in any movie I make, because chicks dig it. - Chris O'Dowd

The problem with being Irish is having 'Riverdance' on your back. It's a burden at times. - Roddy Doyle

That's the Irish people all over - they treat a joke as a serious thing, and a serious thing as a joke. - Sean O'Casey

I was freelancing for years in Cork and around. I also wrote freelance pieces for 'The Irish Times.' - Kevin Barry

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue

May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door. - Irish Blessings

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

With such riches as I have in life, you're always nervous. Being Irish, you're waiting for something to knock it sideways. - Pierce Brosnan

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway

Franklin D. Roosevelt: "Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?",
New York Mayor Al Smith: "Do we now?" - Franklin D Roosevelt

How much replay do we want? Because if you start doing it from the first inning to the ninth inning, you may have to time the game with a calendar. - Joe Torre


Moose Parking

Long Winter

Another Day In Traffic

How A Leader Leads

We Haul It All

Find Your Purpose

Something Witty

Frozen America

Woodcutter Birthday Cake

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

That's My Bed

Laxative Cream Pie

Crow Species

Japanese Eye Test

Donut Hole History

The Original Homeland Security

Bustache

I Will Never Tell

Vancouver Snow Plow

Costco Wheels

British Accountant

Find Your Car

First Selfie

Spider Trap