#1 humor site on the 'net

If Alcohol Talked

Bartender terminology - booze jargon drinkers need to know

If Alcohol Talked thanks to Keith Blake

If Alcohol Talked thanks to Keith Blake

If Alcohol Talked thanks to Keith Blake

If Alcohol Talked thanks to Keith Blake

If Alcohol Talked thanks to Keith Blake

If Alcohol Talked thanks to Keith Blake

If Alcohol Talked thanks to Keith Blake

If Alcohol Talked thanks to Keith Blake

Discussions with the bottle once you've had too much to drink

QuotaBills
Good wine needs no vine. - French Proverb

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. - Addison Mizner

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany

Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson

Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster


Nintendo Motor

Responsible Hi-Tech Redneck

GoosePrints

Stairway Roots

I Love Thanksgiving

'Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

Turkey Not

Turkey Weather Forecast

Pass The CatSoup, Please

Peace Foot

Missing Piece Statue

Baby Juggling

Dog Tired After Work

How To Burn Fat

Canadian Car Crash

Treescape

Redneck Christmas Tree Transport

Three Cats Ago

That's Not A Knife

Someone Is Upset

Turkey Popcorn Dressing

Redneck Outhouse Throne

I'll Be Right There

How Not To Prop Start Your Plane