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I Love Dad

Car-ving her appreciation on the family car

I Love Dad thanks to Renate Jaster

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” - I Corinthians 13:13
QuotaBills
Scratch a lover, and find a foe. - Dorothy Parker

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch. - Ogden Nash

A rich man is never ugly in the eyes of a girl. - French Proverb

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

Maybe she's a spaghetti girl... straight until wet. - Jodi Lerner

I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. - Oedipus Rex

I'm the girl who lost her reputation and never missed it. - Mae West

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. - Bill Maher

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

Hopefully, kids realize you can do anything you want. Skateboarding can be that gateway. - Ryan Sheckler

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

I don't believe in e-mail. I'm an old-fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it. - Maurice Chevalier

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Flops are a part of life's menu and I've never been a girl to miss out on any of the courses. - Rosalind Russell

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

The pumpkin hearing, "Let's carve and scoop,"
Ran fast as he could, leaving pumpkin poop. - Shirley Thomas

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

You can take the girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the girl and ultimately not the girl out of Texas. - Janine Turner

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, nobody's home." I went over. Nobody was home. - Rodney Dangerfield

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the bogeyman or Michael Jackson. - Bart Simpson

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

From a shy, timid girl I had become a woman of resolute character, who could no longer be frightened by the struggle with troubles. - Anna Dostoevsky

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright


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