House 'Broke'rage

An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Geologists have a saying - rocks remember. - Neil Armstrong

A road to a friend's house is never long. - Danish Proverb

There are no elevators in the house of success. - H.H. Vreeland

Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas

One aged man - one man - can't fill a house. - Robert Frost

Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. - Unknown

It is easier to demolish a house than to build one. - Irish proverb

Never invest emergency savings in the stock market. - Suze Orman

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

He's got that big house to maintain in San Clemency. - Archie Bunker

I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. - George Carlin

Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs. - Kin Hubbard

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen

I like gold because it is a stabilizer; it is an insurance policy. - Kevin O'Leary

Go often to the house of a friend, for weeds choke the unused path. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Bricks may make a house, but the laughter of children makes a home. - Irish Proverb

NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable. - Mitch Hedberg

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

Elvis may have been the king of rock 'n roll, but I am the queen. - Little Richard

When the snake is in the house, one need not discuss the matter at length. - African Saying

Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe. - H G Wells

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there. - Steven Wright

How difficult it is to save the bark of reputation from the rocks of ignorance. - Petrarch

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed. - Don Rickles

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. - Ambrose Bierce

I wouldn't run for President. I wouldn't want to move to a smaller house. - Bono

Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

Love melts the rigor which the rocks have bred; a flint will break upon a feather bed. - John Cleveland

We should be as water, which is lower than all things yet stronger even than the rocks. - Sioux Proverb

If you burn your neighbor's house down, it doesn't make your house look any better. - Lou Holtz

Maybe I'd like to run around the house in my drawers, and with her here, I felt inhabited. - Archie Bunker

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

If we build in the desert, let the house know the desert and the desert be proud of the house. - Frank Lloyd Wright

In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above, so I never have to go upstairs. - Steven Wright

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler. - WC Fields

Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition. - Phyllis Diller

Gonna be incrimated... they're gonna keep the ashes around the house in one of them silver urinals. - Archie Bunker

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

I'm a big crier in general. The right life insurance commercial will take me out for a couple of days. - Ike Barinholtz

Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson

The fact remains that most of us are anesthetized to the true cost and true value of long term care insurance. - Michael Burgess

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate.
What's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House? - Will Rogers

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go. - Jack Benny

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken and there's a lot of throwing up. - Ray Romano

What the insurance companies have done is to reverse the business so that the public at large insures the insurance companies. - Gerry Spence

One need not be a chamber to be haunted;
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing
Material place. - Emily Dickinson

Talking is a hydrant in the yard and writing is a faucet upstairs in the house. Opening the first takes the pressure off the second. - Robert Frost

Science is built up with facts, as a house is with stones. But a collection of facts is not more a science than a heap of stones is a house. - Jules Poincare

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon