#1 humor site on the 'net

House 'Broke'rage

Is your house insurance up to date?

House 'Broke'rage thanks to Rysa Gordon, Surrey, B.C.

QuotaBills
Call on God, but row away from the rocks. - Indian Proverb

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Geologists have a saying - rocks remember. - Neil Armstrong

In the ant's house, the dew is a flood. - Danish Proverb

A house divided against itself cannot stand. - Abraham Lincoln

A road to a friend's house is never long. - Danish Proverb

There are no elevators in the house of success. - H.H. Vreeland

One aged man - one man - can't fill a house. - Robert Frost

Hot flushes and mentalpause. House of ill refute. - Archie Bunker

The words you speak become the house you live in. - Hafiz

The violets in the mountains have broken the rocks. - Tennessee Williams

Elastic Band: An old rock group that keeps bouncing back - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Peace and a well-built house cannot be bought too dearly. - Danish Proverb

Better a hundred enemies outside the house than one inside. - Arabic proverb

I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd

It's a sad house where the hen crows louder than the cock. - Scottish Proverb

The call of love sounds very hollow among these immobile rocks. - Gustav Mahler

A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees

Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs. - Kin Hubbard

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen

At worst, a house unkept cannot be so distressing as a life unlived. - Rose Macaulay

Hidin' out in the house all the time, like some Bantam of the Opera. - Archie Bunker

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

Your own safety is at stake when your neighbor's house is in flames. - Horace

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

If it weren't for the rocks in its bed, the stream would have no song. - Carl Perkins

In the haunted house of life, art is the only stair that doesn't creak. - Tom Robbins

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there. - Steven Wright

The knowledge from an enlightened person breaks on the hard rocks of ignorance. - Mahesh Yogi

Someone told me I was immature. Guess who's not allowed in my tree house now? - Unknown

I love contemporary art, although I wouldn't want a pickled shark in my house. - Bruno Tonioli

Love melts the rigor which the rocks have bred; a flint will break upon a feather bed. - John Cleveland

In matters of style, swim with the current. In matters of principle, stand like a rock. - Thomas Jefferson

Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors. - Jay Leno

We should be as water, which is lower than all things yet stronger even than the rocks. - Sioux Proverb

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery

If we build in the desert, let the house know the desert and the desert be proud of the house. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Crafting fills my life, and my closets, and my drawers, and every empty tote bag in the house. - Unknown

Without my pets, my wallet would be full, my house would be clean, but my heart would be empty. - Unknown

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition. - Phyllis Diller

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford

The fact remains that most of us are anesthetized to the true cost and true value of long term care insurance. - Michael Burgess

All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate.
What's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House? - Will Rogers

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron

Rock is so much fun. That's what it's all about - filling up the chest cavities and empty kneecaps and elbows. - Jimi Hendrix

I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go. - Jack Benny

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken and there's a lot of throwing up. - Ray Romano

In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins - not through strength, but through persistence. - Buddha

Hockey on roller skates is like MMA in a bounce house: the elements are there, but the medium makes the whole thing ridiculous. - David Walton

For almost seventy years the life insurance industry has been a smug sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull. - Ralph Nader

Talking is a hydrant in the yard and writing is a faucet upstairs in the house. Opening the first takes the pressure off the second. - Robert Frost

The worst thing about work in the house or home is that whatever you do it is destroyed, laid waste or eaten within twenty-four hours. - Lady Hasluck

I was just so lucky with 'Real Women Have Curves.' At that point, I would have done an insurance commercial. I would have done anything. - America Ferrera

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright


7 Hours In 1 Image

Mexican School Bus

Tree Sorrow

OCD Electrician

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Redneck Shower Head

Wise Moves

Fox Hunting Madness

Emperor Penguins

The Side Effects of Veganism

Stair Railing Electrician

Cold Faucet

Make Womb For Baby

Hardtail Bike

Birth Control Kit

Come-Back Line Of The Year

Duck Gears

Chewing Gum Hazard

Keyboard Seating

Bent Over

Whatchamacallit Car

Gone To Market

Peak Bernie

Female IT Experts