Hospital Christmas Tree

An operation of the most extreme daring. - Alfred Jodl

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

About half my time is spent on business operation type stuff. - Mark Zuckerberg

Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler

Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley

You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation. - Irvin S Cobb

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

Yale: 1. A well known Ivy League university; 2. What southern cheerleaders do. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller