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Hospital Christmas Tree

Inflated surgery glove decoration

Hospital Christmas Tree thanks to Barry McCartney

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Caring is the essence of nursing. - Jean Watson

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb

An operation of the most extreme daring. - Alfred Jodl

No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez

The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore

Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

Save one life, you're a hero. Save 100 lives, you're a nurse. - Unknown

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

I see God in every human being. When I wash the leper's wounds, I feel I am nursing the Lord himself. Is it not a beautiful experience? - Mother Teresa

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller


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