#1 humor site on the 'net

Heat Expands

Waist expansion makes you a hot commodity

Heat Expands thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Weight loss for obese Rednecks

QuotaBills
Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

Life is too short to be on a diet. - Taylor J Reid

Go pump some neurons. Expand your craniums. - Robin Williams

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

I'm not gaining weight. I'm living large. - Unknown

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight. - The Devil Wears Prada

If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. - Harry S Truman

I don't trust any diet that doesn't allow sugar. - Bethenny Frankel

Work expands to fill the time available for its completion. - Cyril Northcote Parkinson

The first couple of days on the detox diet aren't pleasant. - Carol Vorderman

I don't diet, I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. - Linda Evangelista

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

Once you lose the weight, you're really anxious to eat healthy. - Etta James

Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments. - Bethenny Frankel

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

I'm an emotional eater. When I get upset, my diet goes out the window. - Kelly Osbourne

I gotta lose weight, Edith. I hope you remembered my diuretic cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

The majority of my diet is made up of the foods that my kid didn't finish. - Carrie Underwood

Truth is like heat or light; its vibrations are endless, and are endlessly felt. - Margaret Deland

One of the best ways to expand his horizon is through a regular reading program. - John F Kennedy

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Every single diet I ever fell off of was because of potatoes and gravy of some sort. - Dolly Parton

On behalf of every man looking out for every girl, you are the God and weight of her world. - John Mayer

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

I grew up on a steady diet of science fiction, especially apocalyptic and postapocalyptic fiction. - Justin Cronin

I am a lizard, a shark, a heat-seeking panther. I want to be Bob Denver on acid playing the accordion. - Nicolas Cage

What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease. - Alexander Pope

Dieting is not a sprint, it's a marathon. If you celebrate the small victories, you will eventually win the war. - Ian K Smith

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. - Jean Kerr

Confidence is beautiful, no matter your size, no matter your weight. Be confident in who you are and you'll be beautiful. - Unknown

If you put yourself in a position where you have to stretch outside your comfort zone, then you are forced to expand your consciousness. - Les Brown

My daily diet consists of basically anything I think looks tasty, whether that's pizza, sushi, burgers, quesadillas. I like everything. - Cameron Dallas

New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I cook croquetas, and I eat jamon. I keep my diet 100% Mediterranean and drink my Rioja. In that sense, I have a piece of Spain in West Hollywood. - Paz Vega

Our food pyramid, the kind of diet that is constantly promoted, is completely warped. It's not based around anything to do with healing your body. - Jessica Origliasso


Music Illusion

New Fuel Gauge

Treescape

Diamond Ring TP

Treadmill Workout

The Three Stooges In And Out Of Character

Mask Not Your Country

Sun Protection

Multi-Motor Motorcycle

Your In America

Mexican Repair Shop

You're CuTe

Don't Be A Stick In The Mud

Wake Up Alarm

Mr. Dressup II

Gangsta

Tiring Tire

Redneck Rolling Bottle Sprinkler

Transmission Line Parallel Bars

Water Skiing in Russia

Why Men Shouldn't Take Messages

Spot the Snow Leopard

Open Too Long

Rap Is Like Scissors