Hands Free Driving

Kings have long hands. - Ovid

Many hands make light work. - English Proverb

Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown

Hold a true friend with both your hands. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. - Indira Gandhi

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

Men are creatures with two legs and eight hands. - Jayne Mansfield

Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. - Unknown

When my wrestlers got their hands raised, I jumped for joy. - Dan Gable

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. - H L Mencken

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

I felt sorry for myself because I had no hands until I met a man who had no chips. - Kent Andersson

Lay hold of life with both hands, whenever thou mayest seize it, it is interesting. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

Let him that is without stone among you cast the first thing he can lay his hands on. - Robert Frost

A gorilla with a cellphone riding a bicycle is bound to generate some clever captions. - Steve Breen

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

By the time I taught myself the bass guitar at the age of 14, my hands were already pretty nimble. - John Entwistle

The greatest happiness love can offer is the first pressure of hands between you and your beloved. - Stendhal

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

I'm telling you, things are getting out of hand. Or maybe I'm discovering that things were never in my hands. - Gordon Atkinson

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

Strength is the capacity to break a Hershey bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces. - Judith Viorst

I've learned that people will seldom let you down if they understand that your destiny is in their hands, and vice versa. - Harvey Mackay

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. You need to throw something back. - Maya Angelou

Faithfulness is essential to the character of a friend: without this there can be no safety in intimacy with and confidence in him. - Samuel Hopkins

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. - Norm Crosby

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman