Gun Laws

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

A gun gives you the body, not the bird. - Henry David Thoreau

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

Those who trade liberty for security have neither. - John Adams

The police are recruited from the criminal classes. - Gore Vidal

He who has reaped the profits has committed the crime. - Seneca

The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law. - Jeremy Bentham

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns. - W S Gilbert

I think crime pays. The hours are good, and you travel a lot. - Woody Allen

Rape is the only crime in which the victim becomes the accused. - Freda Adler

How many lawyer jokes are there? One, the rest are true stories. - Thomas F Shubnell

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not. - Thomas Jefferson

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

Your heaviest artillery will be your will to live. Keep that big gun going. - Norman Cousins

My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music. - Vladimir Nabokov

You can get a lot farther with a kind word and a gun than a kind word alone. - Al Capone

He prefers the security of known misery to the misery of unfamiliar insecurity. - Sheldon B. Kopp

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

Tabloid: 1. A newspaper with a permanent crime wave; 2. A screamlined newspaper. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost

Let's commit the perfect crime. I'll steal your heart, and you steal mine. - Meryl Streep

It is true greatness to have in one the frailty of a man and the security of a god. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith

The guns and the bombs, the rockets and the warships, are all symbols of human failure. - Lyndon B Johnson

Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven't committed. - Anthony Powell

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? - George Carlin

Like trying a man's finger for having pulled the trigger of a gun which murdered someone. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The police feel that most of the public are against them and that there is a lot of bad feeling. - Peter James

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

A police force, wherever they are, is made up of amazing people, and I respect them a great deal. - Nancy McKeon

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business. - Will Rogers

Hard work is the soundest investment. It provides a neat security for your widow's next husband. - Unknown

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

A lawyer's duty is to read the law well himself, then tell the people what it is, and let them act upon it. - Brigham Young

The policemen or soldiers are only a gun in the establishments hand. They make the racist secure in his racism. - Huey Newton

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun. - P G Wodehouse

I'm being kidnapped by a comforter, sheet and pillow. No need to call the police for I will be released by morning. - Unknown

Now we got a lawyer, we got civilization, which I understand to mean that a man has a chance to get rich without working. - Sinclair Lewis

What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele

My best security is within the munitions of an immutable Jehovah, where His unalterable promises stand like giant walls of rock. - Charles H. Spurgeon

There is a blessed necessity by which the interest of men is always driving them to the right, and making all crime mean and ugly. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

In a world of complex threats, our security and leadership depends on all elements of our power - including strong and principled diplomacy. - Barack Obama

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

I not only knew Houdini, but we had a very lovely relationship. I really though we had something going, and then the son of a gun disappeared. - Betty White