German Flatulence Control

We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut

Travel, of course, narrows the mind. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

He who does not travel does not know the value of men. - Moorish Proverb

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. - Steven Wright

I think crime pays. The hours are good, and you travel a lot. - Woody Allen

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

Life is a storybook, and those who do not travel only read but a page. - Ravi Zacharias

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

We travel, some of us forever, to seek other states, other lives, other souls. - Anais Nin

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. - Mark Twain

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

Too often travel, instead of broadening the mind, merely lengthens the conversation. - Elizabeth Drew

Our deeds still travel with us from afar, and what we have been makes us what we are. - George Eliot

I like the map feature on the iPhone that tells me where I am, because I travel a lot. - Gary Shteyngart

At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima

Why endeavor to straighten the road of life? The faster we travel, the less there is to see. - Helen Hayes

Artists are blessed to travel all over the world. They see the trends before they even come out. - Tina Knowles

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

There ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them. - Mark Twain

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow. - Lin Yutang

Travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living. - Miriam Beard

To read a writer is for me not merely to get an idea of what he says, but to go off with him and travel in his company. - Andre Gide

Toward the north, from there shone Frederick, the North Star, around whom Germany, Europe, even the world seemed to turn. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. - Woody Allen

Own only what you can always carry with you: know languages, know countries, know people. Let your memory be your travel bag. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

The whole object of travel is not to set foot on foreign land; it is at last to set foot on one's own country as a foreign land. - G K Chesterton

As a travel writer I've specialized in gritty, fearful destinations, the kind of places that make a reader's hair stick on end. - Tahir Shah

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle