#1 humor site on the 'net

Fedex Home Delivery

When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight

Fedex Home Delivery thanks to Lucinda Weckstrom

QuotaBills
There's no place like home. - The Wizard of Oz

Peace - that was the other name for home. - Kathleen Norris

Wherever you are is my home - my only home. - Charlotte Bronte

Heaven is home. Utopia is here. Nirvana is now. - Edward Abbey

What's the need of a home if you are never in it? - George Grossmith

There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort. - Jane Austen

If light is in your heart, you will find your way home. - Rumi

Mother is the home we come from. She is nature, soil, ocean. - Erich Fromm

Traveling in the company of those we love is home in motion. - Leigh Hunt

Safety Belt: The one you don't drink before driving home - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. - Ken Olson

To be happy in the home is the ultimate result of all ambition. - Samuel Johnson

Bricks may make a house, but the laughter of children makes a home. - Irish Proverb

Go big or go home. Because it's true. What do you have to lose? - Eliza Dushku

What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family. - Mother Teresa

Television has brought back murder into the home... where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

That's the best part of going away for a vacation - coming home again. - Madeleine L'Engle

The structure of a play is always the story of how the birds come home to roost. - Arthur Miller

The power of finding beauty in the humblest things makes home happy and life lovely. - Louisa May Alcott

A person is happiest whether they be rich or poor, when there is peace in their home. - Unknown

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

Strength of character may be learned at work, but beauty of character is learned at home. - Henry Drummond

The only ultimate disaster that can befall us is to feel ourselves at home on this earth. - Malcolm Muggeridge

I certainly don't live in a kosher home although I was raised in a kosher environment. - Leonard Nimoy

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your family. - Anita Baker

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax - tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough. - Pearl Williams

You can go other places - you can live on the other side of the world, but you can't ever leave home. - Sue M Kidd

My cell phone is acting up - I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work. - Unknown

I don't want to end up in an old folks' home wearing incompetence pads. I'm still compost mentis. - Harriet Wynn

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

I could dance with you till the cows come home...
on second thought, I'll dance with the cows till you come home. - Groucho Marx

Went to Disneyland because my daughter's obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She was so excited when I got home and told her. - Ryan Reynolds

Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home. - David Frost

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

The worst thing about work in the house or home is that whatever you do it is destroyed, laid waste or eaten within twenty-four hours. - Lady Hasluck

Home is a name, a word, it is a strong one; stronger than magician ever spoke, or spirit ever answers to, in the strongest conjuration. - Charles Dickens

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

The Bible tells us that Jesus Christ came to do three things. He came to have my past forgiven, you get a purpose for living and a home in Heaven - Rick Warren


Cross Inspector

Morning Saving Time

Kangaroo On Ice

Life's Choices

Olympic Torch Bearers

Lethal Weapon

Cell Shaver

Getting Goosed

No Swimming

Drift Racing

Alligators vs. Crocodiles

Cure for Internet Addiction

Seal LOL

Keyboard Seating

Illusive Dice

Cockroach Cancer

Time Management

People Crossing

Cozy Home

Redneck Faucet

Duck That Did Not Duck

Chewie, We're Home

Introducing the iPhone 20

Meateor