Family Affair

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Acting is just a way of making a living; the family is life. - Denzel Washington

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. - WC Fields

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

Work is the least important thing and family is the most important. - Jerry Seinfeld

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance. - George Bernard Shaw

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

Live so you won't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. - Will Rogers

As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. - Buddy Hackett

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. - Fred Allen

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. - Desmond Tutu

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. - George Carlin

There's no road map on how to raise a family: it's always an enormous negotiation. - Meryl Streep

We are, in the comics, the last frontier of good, wholesome family humor and entertainment. - Bill Keane

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

Every family story has 1,000 other stories contained within it, like an unending series of nesting dolls. - Alison Pick

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

The practical importance of the preservation of our forests is augmented by their relations to climate, soil and streams. - John Muir

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended - and not to take a hint when a hint isn't intended. - Robert Frost

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

The family should be a place where each new human being can have an early atmosphere conducive to the development of constructive creativity. - Edith Schaeffer

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright

Relations are simply a tedious pack of people, who haven't got the remotest knowledge of how to live, nor the smallest instinct about when to die. - Oscar Wilde