Family Affair

Friends are the family you choose. - Jennifer Aniston

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

A happy family is but an earlier heaven. - Sir John Bowring

The family is one of nature's masterpieces. - George Santayana

Besmooch the family name in the eyes of the community. - Archie Bunker

I would give everything if I could only keep my family. - Johnny Depp

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. - WC Fields

People should find happiness in the little things, like family. - Amanda Bynes

Work is the least important thing and family is the most important. - Jerry Seinfeld

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city. - George Burns

Passing Tone: Frequently heard near the baked beans at family barbecues - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

For our immediate family and relatives, Canada was a land of opportunity. - Sidney Altman

I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy

As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. - Buddy Hackett

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life. - Oscar Wilde

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

There's no road map on how to raise a family: it's always an enormous negotiation. - Meryl Streep

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon

Mothers are like glue, Even when you can't see them, they're still holding the family together. - Susan Gale

My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't of had anything to play with. - Rodney Dangerfield

Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present and future. - Gail L. Buckley

Every family story has 1,000 other stories contained within it, like an unending series of nesting dolls. - Alison Pick

I've come to learn that the best time to debate family members is when they have good in their mouths. - Kenneth Cole

Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns

For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled. - Richard P Feynman

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

As a family we couldn't decide whether to have Grandma buried or cremated, so in the end we decided to let her live. - Gary Delaney

The quality of a father can be seen in the goals, dreams, and aspirations he sets not only for himself, but for his family. - Reed Markham

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury

In the best, the friendliest and simplest relations flattery or praise is necessary, just as grease is necessary to keep wheels turning. - Leo Tolstoy

Relations are simply a tedious pack of people, who haven't got the remotest knowledge of how to live, nor the smallest instinct about when to die. - Oscar Wilde