End Of Shift

Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting. - Mark Twain

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know. - WC Fields

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

If you get a reputation as an early riser, you can sleep till noon. - Irish Proverb

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

Man - a creature created at the end of a work week when God was tired. - Mark Twain

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. - Red Skelton

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them. - Victor Hugo

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings

Death had to take him in his sleep, for if he was awake there'd have been a fight. - Theodore Roosevelt

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

Bound by paperwork, short on hands, sleep, and energy... nurses are rarely short on caring. - Sharon Hudacek

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

Never work just for money or power. They won't save your soul or help you sleep at night. - Marian Wright Edelman

3 out of 4 voices in my head want to sleep... the other wants to know if penguins have knees. - Unknown

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did. - Newt Gingrich

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

I want to die like my father; peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers. - Bob Monkhouse

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

A great many people, and more all the time, live their entire lives without ever once sleeping out under the stars. - Alan S. Kesselheim

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

A man can do only what a man can do. But if he does that each day, he can sleep at night and do it again the next day. - Albert Schweitzer

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep. - Dale Carnegie