#1 humor site on the 'net

Egg Morning Mourning

Eggsellent memories of breakfasts gone by

Egg Morning Mourning thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Chicken: An egg factory - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My friends are my estate. - Emily Dickinson

Friends are the family you choose. - Jennifer Aniston

Have no friends not equal to yourself. - Confucius

A selfie a day keeps the friends away. - Unknown

Friends don't let friends use Comic Sans. - Unknown

You can't trust the judgment of good friends. - Carl Sandburg

In the cookie of life, friends are chocolate chips. - Salman Rushdie

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs. - French Proverb

Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends? - Abraham Lincoln

There's no word yet for old friends who've just met. - Jim Henson

Many friends have been lost by jest, but few have been gained. - Unknown

God gave us our relatives; thank God we can choose our friends. - Ethel Mumford

We make more enemies by what we say than friends by what we do. - John C Collins

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway. - Greg Tamblyn

A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends. - Baltasar Gracian

In politics, madame, you need two things: friends, but above all an enemy. - Brian Mulroney

Friends, if we be honest with ourselves, we shall be honest with each other. - George Macdonald

Prosperity is no just scale; adversity is the only balance to weigh friends. - Plutarch

Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit. - Aristotle

We need old friends to help us grow old and new friends to help us stay young. - Letty Cottin Pogrebin

Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light. - Jennie Jerome Churchill

We make our friends. We make our enemies. But God makes our next-door neighbour. - G K Chesterton

Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer. - Ed Cunningham

Advice from your friends is like the weather, some of it is good, some of it is bad. - Unknown

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I was the class clown so I was used to performing and fooling around in front of my friends. - Dominic Monaghan

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places. - Mark Twain

There's a thing that keeps surprising you about stormy old friends after they die: their silence. - Ben Hecht

We read that we ought to forgive our enemies; but we do not read that we ought to forgive our friends. - Cosimo de Medici

We challenge one another to be funnier and smarter ... It's the way friends make love to one another. - Annie Gottlieb

The Honourable Lady was once an egg and people on both sides of this House greatly regret its fertilisation. - Nicholas Fairbairn

As yet, Bernard Shaw hasn't become prominent enough to have any enemies, but none of his friends like him. - Oscar Wilde

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. - Steven Wright

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

As a matter of self-preservation, a man needs good friends or ardent enemies, for the former instruct him and the latter take him to task. - Diogenes

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo


Parking Squeeze

Tree Barking

Elephant Sunset

TP Safety

Locked Up Bull Elk

Duck Crossing

Peeping Snake

Hydro Water Power

Cutting Edge Delivery

Baby Scan

Redneck Mirror

Skateboard Statue

WipeOut

Turtle Truck

How To Burn Fat

Unplugged

Praying & Preying Mantis

Good Driver

Overpass Passover

Fire Starter

Sinus Remedy - How To Clear Out Your Nostrils

Auto Strap

Never Run a Red Light

Bee Safe